Monday, April 29, 2013

C-section in the modern times

When I heard that I would need a C-section to bring my baby out in this world, it was quite a dramatic moment. Like the climax in Hindi movies, I thought the roof has come down and things will never be the same again. I would need to go through the trauma and pain of being operated and forever after that I would never be able to lift weights or do any physical exertion. I would never be able to drive and the scars would remain forever and ever. I was sure it would mean pain forever after that.

The scene was quite hilarious if I think of it now. I almost thought my doctor has some personal interest in pushing me to this ordeal and she has conspired with my husband and I need to revolt. I was taken to our relatives place for being convinced to get the C-section done and I was all in tears for almost an hour. My arguments were also so funny "From the day I know I am expecting I have always read only NORMAL delivery section, I dont even know what to do for C-section!! I have walked 3 kms daily everyday throughout these 9 months, how can I have a C-section? I think we should take a second opinion as I am sure, I cannot have a C-section after having such a smooth pregnancy for all these months!!". All the people around me were treating me as a 4 year old who needs to be convinced to take that vaccine for his beterment. And after all those manipulations and force I agreed to have the C-section done.

It was like I was anticipating pain, I was anticipating suffering. The process of getting ready for the C-section was painful and I thought its just the start! I was associating the operation theater with a daemons cave where I would be tortured, brutally cut, stiched and left in pain forever. If it was not for my baby, I would have never agreed for an operation!

Then the moment came, I was finally taken to the operating table. I was injected in the spine for anesthesia. It was painless!My lower body was numb for next 3 hrs. I was handed over my little bundle of joy in 15 minutes and I was in operation theater for at the most 30 minutes. I was out of the anasthesia in 2 hrs and no giddy feeling, no pain, no nausea nothing as I was told by my elder clan.

I was able to fully enjoy my lovely moments with my daughter, was able to see every little movement she did all the day. I was made to sit in almost 6 hrs after the operation and in next 24 hrs I was up and walking on my own. My stiches didnt pain, my body didnt ache. I had a little discomfort here and there which was also gone in next 3 days.

Few years back all the women who delivered babies by C-section had an ever lasting effect on their health. The scars remained forever and the back pain also persisted. Its owing to the superb inventions in medical science and the ultra modern medical facilities in India that now things are so effortless. We cannot avoid the surgeries, but the pain and ordeal attached to it has reduced considerably. Birthing which is such a beautiful emotion is kept beautiful by removing the suffering attached to it.

Few decades back, more than 14 % of the females died in the process of childbirth. Its due to the modern healthcare facilities that pregnancy however complicated it might be is no more fatal.

These are the miracles of modern healthcare and we are blessed to be in India where medical facilities are in par with any other developed countries in 50 % lesser rates.

Modern technologies cannot prevent the diseases fully, but they can made the nightmare a little less horrifying. It can help you revive those beautiful smiles faster. It can save the tears in your little ones eyes. It can give you hope in every situation. It can be everything a mother can be to a child.

This post is written for a contest on named  "How does Modern Healthcare touch lives?"

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Khushi's dose of the day!! (24th April 2013)

Khushi wanted to learn how to draw a Mickey Mouse, so I kept the Mickey mouse toy(to boost her imagination) infront of her as a subject and explained her that she can draw a semicircle then a heart shape and then two circles for ears. She was able to draw a fairly good Mickey Mouse from a 4 yr old standards.
Since she was able to follow my instructions and make a Mickey mouse she got a boost and she insisted on drawing a Chota Bheem now. 

Khushi: Mummy I want to draw a Chota Bheem now
Mummy: Khushi Mickey mouse is simple, you can draw a Mickey mouse but Chota Bheem would be very tough.
Khushi: Why?? Lets try to draw na Mummy, it would not be tough
Mummy:Forget yourself, it would be tough for me too
Khushi: why?
Mummy: Because drawing hands, legs and a human being is tougher than drawing a cartoon
Khushi thought for a while, interpreted the problem infront of her. DRAWING HANDS and LEGS is difficult? Then took a pencil and started drawing an outline of her palm. After finishing the hand, she showed that to me and said..
Khushi: See Mummy, drawing a hand is so easy! Even drawing a leg would be very easy! Now tell me why cant you draw a Chota Bheem? What is tough in it?

Listening to a problem, interpreting it, breaking the complexity, analyzing the solutions and then providing solution to those smaller problems sounds familiar right? Wooowwww,, Do I have an engineer in making?? 

Monday, April 22, 2013

Love is _________

As a teenager I used to love to read those mushy mushy lines everyday which used to come in the "LOVE IS_____" cartoon strip. Never thought I would write it on my own one day!!

Love is when you dont need to say "Happy Valentine's day" on 14th Feb.
Love is when you call his relative before your relatives to wish on any occasion
Love is when you write Facebook updates for him, even when you know he would never check
Love is storing his "Miss you" sms for months together
Love is saying him "Have a nice day" every morning
Love is praying for him every day even when he doesnt believe in prayers
Love is pretending not to be possesive about him
Love is making him cake in the evening when you have reminded him of his blood pressure/cholestrol in the morning
Love is telling him that the world doesnt matter
Love is when he is awake at 3 am to give moral support when your baby is not well
Love is when he spoils the kids and u love it

There can be a full book of one liners I can write for you my love, but then
Love is to keep each other grounded forever and ever :)

Friday, April 19, 2013

MARRIAGE - The most confused relationship of today!

 The title sounds very weird to you?? I can understand! I had no better words to entitle my thoughts. Why? Read further!

My parents are going to celebrate their 50th Wedding anniversary this June. I salute them for the achievement. The respect, love and connect they have for each other is incomparable. They are both imperfect individuals, but they have a perfect marriage which had been nurtured for years by both of them. 
But its going to be very rare for our next generation to hear a couple celebrating their silver/golden/Diamond jubilee aniversary. Why? Because our generation doesnt believe in LOVE FOREVER!!Infact our generation is the most confused generation when it comes to marriage. I wont put all the blame on us, our parents are equally responsible. NO,.,, I am not a scapegoat to blame our parents for our follies. I have a strong logic to what I am saying! Read further...

Our ecosystem has for last 24-26 years taught us to be strong minded, logical and opinionated. Girls are socially, emotionally and even financially not dependent on Men these days. We dont marry at the age of 20-21 where you can be influenced and manipulated. We have studied all these years with people of opposite sex and interacted very closely with many of them. We have had friends of opposite sex and know how a girl/guy thinks about the opposite gender. 

We have seen our fathers/mothers, brothers/sisters and friends respecting the other gender and expect the same. Both boys and girls stay in hostel, away from home and have studied in same manner. None of us have ever been seen as secondary because of our gender in our house. The crux is, till the day you get married we are equal individuals and suddenly after marriage...

Girl leaves her house, her parents, her city and even her surname behind. All those Hindi movies with ideal bahus are playing in flashback. As Indian girls, we are taught to be THE IDEAL BAHU by our mothers. Girls come with alot of dreams, alot of expectations, a lot of fancy ideas about a married life. Karan Johar movies had already done the damage in their innocent minds for over a decade and their romantic hero has been finally alotted to them officially. The girl has happily sacrificed her routine, her career, her parents, her friends, her passions for fulfilling this ultimate dream of her life. To be with her life partner and to have a HAPPY family of her own!!

From a boys perspective, boys are supposed to be a family man now. They are supposed to be nice and caring towards their wives. They are expected to satisfy all emotional, financial and physical needs of their women. They might have lived like a MOWGLI all their life, but now they have to be spick and span. They might have never attended a social family gathering ever, but now they need to accept complete strangers as their new family. Friends to them are some school or college or mohalla guys who accompany them for Saturday night drinking and now suddenly they need to have friends with a wife and kids preferably. Before marriage all the money they earned were their pocket money, they shopped, roamed, boozed, did whatever they want with that. But now, they are accountable, they have to give all their earnings to their family or wife. On top of that, they even have to pay for her shopping, parlour, travel, etc etc etc. Vacation to them was picking up couple of clothes in a backpack and drive away. After marriage vacation has to be international with a pre-booking done for accomodation, transport, even for a airport drop and pickup taxi. They had turned their faces to all the beautiful girls with no guilt of being caught, infact it was a sign of manhood for them. Now you have to think twice before talking to the short skirt air hostess for water. 

We are talking about two entirely different individuals with entirely different upbringing. Two siblings with same upbringing and environment cannot get along forever, forget two distinct individuals. 

For first few months, maximum 1.5 years you are willingly being a good boy or a good girl. You are in LOVE. LAlalaa laaa laa sounds could be heard everytime you see your partner. His eating habbits, his sleeping habbits, his wet towels everything feels cute!! Her shopping bills, her burnt rotis and even her long phone conversations make you fall in love everytime you see her. Buttttttttttttttt,,, sooner or later, you pauseeeeeeee..flashback and introspect!!

Who is the person I am looking at in the mirror? Just few months back I could relate to that reflection, but today I have to find that known identity!! People say, changes are good, but I dont find anything good in what I see! I am trapped, I was a free man before she came in my life. The common hobbies like travelling and movies which bonded us together on phone and chats are no more the same hobbies we are talking about. He travels with dirty jeans and his bike without a helmet and she travels in business class with all the five star bookings done in advance! Sanjay Leela Bhansali movies were never movies to be watched for him and she find SOCIAL NETWORKING or VERTICAL LIMIT pathetic!! 

Then the problems start. You can never be happy as a different person. If you cannot be u, the laughter on your face cannot be the smile of your heart. You start reviving the you, you have left behind to become WE. It usually starts with one partner but eventually both realize that they have changed. The dissatisfaction leads in introspection. You tend to blame it on the other person and start echoing that the person wasnt perfect for you. I read a brilliant article last Sunday in LIFE supplement of TOI.

Every marriage goes through the phase of wrong person atleast once. You might have had a love marriage or an arrange marriage, marriages are all the same!! The only advantage/disadvantage to a love marriage is the initial 6 months when you are unfolding your partners past life to understand the person better. But in those 4-5 hours of mushy mushy conversation with your boyfrien you hardly notice your differences. As they say, you dont love with your mind, its all dillogical! Even if you think you have married your soulmate, you will go through this phase in married life.

Meanwhile you have kids, you buy a house, you travel together, you share your fears and achievements and gradually and consistently you start bonding with each other.You have to make an effort to revive your love in your marriage which somehow fades away after few years. You start understanding each others thought process. You start accepting the flaws in him/her. You start compromising on petty things. You have differnt opinions but you learn to choose one of the more logical opinion to decide on things. You might like white and she might like red curtains, but then you start stopping on Orange which both like a little less than their choices. You travel with each other and give space for a day or two to experience their own world in their own way. You start having your own group of friends whom you meet  seperately during weekdays or when she is away or when there is an exciting cricket match.  You have adjusted to each others life style and have started respecting each others space more. She stops experimenting on new dishes to avoid disappointments and he starts recording his F1 on TV so that he can watch it later in the night. You both strive hard to have a lovely family life for your kids. You understand there are differences but the WE superseeds the I. Arguments still continue but they dont result into introspections and doubts anymore. 

It is a fact that most divorce happens in 2 years of marriage. This is the same 2nd year when you dont remain yourself in the process of living upto family/society expectations. If you pass this 2-4 yrs of married life, you would mature in your relationship. You will in true sense become partners. No person is perfect and there are NO PRINCE CHARMINGS or CINDRELLA's in real life! When you can adjust with irritating mothers and crazy brothers, then why not give it a try to your partner? Abusive relationships should be a complete NO NO!But if you think difference in nature/opinion/society is the reason, everything can be adjusted. Life is all about compromises and adjustments. Dont know why these terms are used so negatively these days, but there are no two individuals on earth who can get along forever without compromises and adjustments in life. 

Marriages in our generation might not be a compulsion, but if given a fair chance they can become beautiful. Instead of being trapped in a marriage lets trap our egos and free the love. Free love is the most satisfying relationship in history. Many more years of a Happy married life Mom-DAD!! :) 

Monday, April 15, 2013

Khushi's dose of the day!!! (13th April 2013)

Khushi saw some traffic police on road and asked

Khushi: Mummy why are police required?
Mummy: For managing traffic !
Khushi:  Why do they need to manage traffic?
Mummy: Because people don't follow rules and somebody is required to monitor them
Khushi: Why people don't follow rules?
Mummy:  Well, like You know what is correct and what is not but still do badmashi  n break the rules,  n then Mummy has to manage u. Same ways whenever anybody breaks traffic rules they manage them!
(I expected Khushi to associate me with the police and tell that I am also like a police, but instead I got a harder question to answer)
Khushi: Oh, Ok, for traffic we have white police (RTO), but then why do we have brown police? What are the rules they look after? What if they break rules?


Do we have any definition for right and wrong? Right from taking bribes for passport verification to maid verification our police department has excelled in everything. The only free service they offer these days is moral policing girls wearing short clothes or young girls and boys sitting in the public garden. What kind of faith I should embedd in young minds of my girl, when I myself have no faith in them?

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Khushi's dose of the day!! (15tth April 2013)

Khushi was sweating in the car all thanks to the scorching sun in Bangalore this summers.
Khushi: "Mujhe paseena aaa rahi hai."
Mummy: Khushi, its "Mujhe paseena aa raha hai"!
Khushi: Why mummy?
Mummy: Khushi, we use "AA RAHA HAI" not "AA RAHI HAI" with "Paseena"
Khushi: No Mummy, when a girl says it will be " Mujhe paseeena aa rahi hai" and when a boy says it will be "Mujhe paseena aa raha hai"
Mummy: It is "Mujhe paseena aa raha hai" for both boys and girls and I will explain why?? later!!
(I wanted to explain her the grammatics in Hindi language, but I wasnt sure of my own concepts, so thought I will keep this explanation for some other day when I am sure of my theories!)


I always knew English is a very funny language, but now I doubt that for hindi as well. Forgive me for my ignorance if our Hindi pandits had a logical theory behind this one!! Please enlighten why is PASEENA a mascuiline gender and NEEND a feminine gender????

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Khushi's dose of the day! (12th April 2013)

Papa: Khushi you have got pimples on your forehead!
Khushi: Where?? Show me?
Mummy: Those are not pimples, those are boils Papa. In summers, you get boils due to excessive heat. Pimples comes only in teenage, not at 4!!
Khushi: Mummy, no!! They are pimples only! 
Mummy : Ufff,,ok!! If you say so!!
Khushi: Aab to mujhe FAIRNESS CREAM lagana padega!!
Mummy: What? Fairness cream? Usase pimples chale jayenge?
Khushi: Yes Mummy, fairness cream se pimples chale jate hai!!
Mummy: Who told you so?
Khushi : I saw in fairness cream advertisement that pimples vanish with a fairness cream!! Mummy do you have a fairness cream?

The definition of fairness cream has changed soo much in years that I cannot even argue with her!! And along with that age of getting and TREATING pimples have also changed!! Hope 4 is the lower limit and tomorrow Avani (1 yr) doesn't come to me and ask for a FAIRNESS CREAM!! :P..

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Photo Collage with old Cd/DVDs

This beautiful collage of pictures would make any wall of your house a family wall.
Things you would need:
10-15 old CDs/DVDs
Fevicol/ Fevibond
Satin Lace
10-15 family/individual photos

1. Arrange the CDs in whatever shape/arrangement you prefer. You dont need to work on the design too much as just putting everything together all the CDs will also make a unique design of its own
2. Stick the CDs in such a way that only the edges are stuck, there should be enough space for the photographs.
3. Till the CDs stick to each other for some time, cut the photos in circles. Let the circles be smaller than the CD so that the texture of CD can be seen.
You can make a round stencil and cut the photos or cut one photo round and use that as a marker for others.
4. Stick satin ribbon at the back and make sure it is strong enough to hold the weight of the CDs. Collage of CDs becomes heavy, so the string holding it should be strong enough to hold the weight on wall.
5. Stick the photos which are cut in round shape on each CD.

1. Dont use closeups for this collage. AFter cutting them round, it will become very on the face types
2. Dont use photos with too many people or very small faces, they will be hardly seen from a distance
3. Arrange the color combination of photos before you stick the photos
4. CDs/DVDs are also of different colors like steel blue, silver, copper so select single color CDs/DVDs so that the highlight is your photos and not the varied colors of the CDs.
5. Enjoy the activity with your kids and adore your creativity everytime you see the collage! :)

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Khushi's dose of the day!! Part 2(9th April 2013)

Khushi was super excited to get a big water gun on Holi this time. It did not take her long to understand the complex functioning of the gun. While playing with water she inquired

Khushi: Mummy how much water can be filled in this water bag?
Mummy : Around 2-3 bottles (liters)
Khushi : How much water is required to play holi with Shivji?
Mummy : What? Play holi with whom?
Khushi : Shivji, Ganesh's Papa! Bholenath!! How much water he needs to take bath or to get wet?
Mummy : (Thinking,,,where does this question come from?? But now I need to answer,,,soo) Shivji is very very big, he needs alot of water. It needs to rain to wet him.So whenever he wants to bathe, he asks the rain God to pour!!
Khushi: OK!!

Couple of days later, we were crossing the KempFort Shiv temple. On the entrance they have made a huge Shivling where continously water is dripping from a Kalash and falling on the Shivling!

Khushi: Mummy see, Shivji is taking a bath! But where is the rain?

             Entrance to the Shiv Mandir

I could have never thought of this association of holi, shivji and rain unless we crossed Shiv temple of KempFort. She is showing me, everyday a new perspective to things!! Things I think we adults never notice (Proof is that, I couldn't get a single photo of that entrance on internet). 

Khushi's dose of the day!! (9th April 2013)

It was Khushi's 4th birthday on Saturday. My parents had come down for her birthday and they gifted studs (earrings) to her on her birthday. She liked it but didnt seem to excited about it. So next day they wanted me to buy something that she would look excited about. So knowing her inclination towards cosmetics and dressing up, I decided to buy a Dressing kit on behalf of them. The dressing kit had mock hair dryer, rollers, nail paint, lip stick, blusher, clips, clutch-er etc.

As expected, as soon as she opened that gift all the other birthday gifts have faded from her mind and sight. Just to guage the impact of fashion on the little mind I asked her to name each of the elements and she without any second thought named each one of them along with their use. Only one element was a new discovery for her and the conversation was followed as below

Mummy : So what is this?
Khushi : I dont know this one! What is it?
Mummy : These are rollers!
Khushi : Rollers? What are they used for?
Mummy : The other day you saw a girl with curly hair right? These rollers can give temporary curls to the hair.
Khushi : Show me how to put them?
Mummy : Come I will put the rolls on your hair
Khushi : No curly hair will not suit me, it will suit you. You put it on your hair and show me!

So now I have a stylist at home who is all set to tell me what hair style will suit me and what not!! :)

Monday, April 1, 2013

Khushi's dose of the day!! (1st April 2013)

We played holi in our apartement on this saturday and after 4 hrs of non-stop masti, color and dancing, I am dead tired. All my efforts to remove the color from my face went in vain and I resembled the daemons from Khushi's Chota Bheem cartoon. Khushi gave me some disgusting expressions and asked

Khushi: Mummy, you are not looking good!! You are pink and green all over your face

Mummy : Khushi its ok, I played holi so the colors havent gone yet. They will take couple of days to go.

Khushi : Why did you play holi at the first place? You are so tired, you are looking horrifying! I didnt like it at all!! 

Mummy : Beta because I like to play holi. Everybody should do what they like, I like dancing, I like playing with colors, so I played holi. See its simple, you enjoy going to Forum, going for rides, having chocolates, so I make sure you have your bit of fun on weekends. Papa likes watching cricket, going to restaurants etc so he does that. Similarly, Mummy also has her list of likes and dislikes and you may not like something Mummy likes, but that does not mean Mummy will stop doing that!

Khushi spread the Johnsons baby powder all over my room and put alot of powder in the Winnie the Pooh  cart and was playing with it. I entered the room and screamed at her for creating such a mess!!

Khushi innocently and annoyingly replied!!

Khushi: Mummy I like it!! I had created snow in the room with the powder. You only told me that we should do whatever we like!