Wednesday, June 17, 2015

I AM LUCKY I AM LITTLE

"Dipti aunty, how can you drive?" asked a very innocent voice. Smilingly I replied,"Because I have learnt to drive and practiced it!".
A very sweet charming little girl keeps greeting me every time I enter my building. Our mutual affection for each other has been fore granted for many years now. 
But little did I know that life is going to be so unfair to her. At the age of 10 years, that little doll is suffering from a mountain of pain. And the more heartening thing is the way that brave soul is taking things at her stride. Being little and ignorant is after all not that bad sometimes. 
Today is her birthday and I couldn't help myself of dedicating these few lines to her. I can never put myself in her shoes and write what she must be thinking, but its my humble effort to pen a few words on her behalf. In fact, this is my selfish effort of penning down what I think she must be going through. 
"I see the winds blowing and the curtains swaying to its rhythm. 
I am 10 years and I can only watch the might of the almighty! 
I feel luckier today to be little, to be ignorant about life.

Knowledge brings anticipation along and you die more deaths everyday for the same fate.
The pain is unbearable and the process very overwhelming for my little soul.
But there is no past and future in childhood, so I feel luckier to be little TODAY

I can see the sadness in my mothers eyes and the helplessness in my fathers voice.
But I am happy that they are always with me, taking special care of me.

I miss going to school, playing with my friends and learning new things everyday.
But they say, I cannot go out much. I might get unwell. I wonder how much more unwell I can get?

I have started loosing my hair, but my mom says, I still look beautiful.
My friends do not treat me differently, I think I am lucky I am little.

Today is my birthday, I have turned 10
I have not lost my enthusiasm. I am excited about my new birthday dress and the cake. 
I am still going to be eager to open all my gifts and start using that new bag in school. Though I don't know when I will start going to school again.

I hear people saying that life is very uncertain. But as a kid, I do not look for certainty. I enjoy every moment and accept  it as it comes. 
I am going to be big soon and loose all the spunk I have. People are going to remind me of how awful my disease was. But for all those learned people, I AM LUCKY I AM LITTLE!"