A perfect birthday evening. Friends and family together. Birthday cake, your favorite dishes, your favorite music, your favorite games. Everything to your liking. What else a 8 year old would need to be happy? But as far as I remember all my childhood I have sulked on all my birthdays! Why? I dont know! It was always because I thought I never have a perfect birthday! PERFECTION always ruined my PERFECT day!
I always seeked perfection. And in the things I was not perfect, I gave up!
I was a very happy but confused child. I had all those phases, the FIND my identity phase!! What is my purpose in life phase?? Why me phase? I can conquer the world phase and next day - Life is so unfair phase!
But I had the hunger to achieve something, To make my life count. So slowly but definitely, I started seeing the brighter side of things.
I realized "Perfection is a myth!" Look around you!! The world is full of imperfect genius!!! David Beckham had OCD, Tom Cruise has dyslexia, Both Einstein and Newton had autism. Mark Zuckerberg and Bill gates were college dropouts. All these imperfect individuals made history. And why should I consider myself any less?
Soon, I started accepting my imperfections. I started practicing WABI SABI, the Japanese philosophy of life "Accepting your imperfections and making the most of life", in short - THE PERFECTLY IMPERFECT!
And here I am breaking the ice with the philosophy of my life.
Born in a middle class marwari family with one protective elder brother and two forward thinking parents was the beginning of my story. As a curious child, I asked alot of questions. Both my parents had a major role in shaping my character.
The best part about my upbringing was, however crazy my decisions in life were, they were always mine! And I had to own it up whether good or bad. Let me give you a glimpse of this.
I belong to a family of doctors and my parents hoped that I will become one! But I was a rebel! How can I follow the norms? One fine day! I came home and declared! I have dropped Biology hereby closing all doors for medicine. I persued engineering. Not that I understood anything about being an engineer, but since I didnt want to be a doctor I became an engineer! Dont judge me on this. Even Amitabh Baachan became an actor by accident. So why not me!!
I was always a movie buff. I have seen KAHO NA PYAAR HAI 12 times in a month in theatre. Yes! Hritik Roshan was my first legit crush. By the end of 12 times, I could repeat the dialogue with him. Unfortunately I realised quite early in life that if its perfect, its too good to be true. My sentiments for him flew like a kite in his very next movie KITES.
When I started my career, I had no clue what I am doing with my life.
All our life, we study to get that first paycheck and when its there. The bubble bursts. You realise you are not making animated presentations to top shots clients nor your image of high flying career in IT looks anything like what you have dreamt off. Long lousy nights, coding in MEIN aur MERI TANHAI and just when you feel you have troubleshooted the bug of the century- you get a cold response from you senior- HMM.
After 16 years as a working woman I still seek perfection in my imperfect life.
But amidst all the imperfections of my life, I have something which is genuinely perfect. And that is my two daughters, Avani and Khushi. They are 8 and 11 and they are the only PERFECTLY PERFECT things in my life.
With time I have learnt to embrace the beauty of imperfections and the madness that comes with it. Today I can happily say " Imperfection is the new Perfection"
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