Saturday, August 24, 2013

Daughter?? In India?? Gear her up, NOW!!

I cannot fathom as to how casually we can take rape cases that to gang rape cases like a robbery or any other corruption cases. Please understand whatever century we are in, rape is not exploitation of just the body, it takes away the soul from the body of the victim. The trauma they must be going through is unimaginable!!
But today I dont want to discuss about that. Enough of discussing now, we need to evaluate and find some solutions. And I am not talking big...I dont have the ability to change the government nor do I have the power to bring the SHOOT AT RISK/SIGHT policy for all the morons. And on the other side, I am totally against the concept of adapting to the society. I cannot ask my daughters to be clad in a BURKHA just because jerks outside might have a heneous eye on them. Common grow up, if girls start wearing BURKHA was the solution, Pakistan n other Islamic countries would have no rape cases at all. Beauty is always in the eyes of the beholder and similarly...GROSSNESS is also in the eyes of beholder.So lets not even go there!
Then being from an affluent society I can settle abroad without having to think about anything. But can I just find any place on earth where I can be sure of safety?? Not really!!:( And what about other girls of my country,who have no chance of running away from.this.situation?? )
So now, when I have ruled out locking the gurls in the house, making them wear a BURKHA and also running away country.I am.left with some more bold ideas.
First is self defence. Teaching martial arts of any kind would make our kids physically strong if not for fighting.out the monsters, atleast for running away if the need be. Pepper spray should be gifted on birthdays. Rakhi n all.ocassions to remind the girls to carry them all.the time.
Second, avoid going in secluded places. Even with brothers boyfriends or husbands you can never b safe in a secluded place. Libraries, lifts, rest rooms, public buses, trains all should have cameras. Cameras will induce some amouny of fear of being caught. Most of the monsters doing such crimes are white collared citizens who have a lot of public fear otherwise. Every person has an angel and a him. Usually the angelic sides are for the world n devilish when you are sure of annonimity.
Third, strict punishment within 1 month of the crime. In India, there is no fear of law. The rich get away with the influence and the not so rich are confident of the impotency of our legal system. So lets for once be potent enough to bring such extreme rules. But again as I said, its not in my reaches. So no use discussing.
Teaching the new India our sons and brothers to respect women is part of the whole change required for improving the situation. Start from home and make sure girls at home are treated equally.
Now, last and the most important and unheard of things which I have to write is about the emotional strength.i know unlike the past times, new India has started to realise that the victim is at no fault..Parents now dont disown their poor girls for being raped and molested. They even try to help.them to cope.up.with the trauma. But I see it differently. I think we should educate them and prepare them to deal with such trauma irrespective of our status, caste creed or age. I mean as we give sex education to our kids, we should give.them education  for dealing.with traumas also. Its a very sensitive topic and none of us will ever be able to imagine our kids as a victim but imagine if GOD FORBID it happens. Most girls in India still commit suicide if they go through this. Even when they are not at fault, girls cannot take the trauma.
We Indians communicate.less.with our kids and we forget that in this process of maintaining an hierarchy we forget to.connect. If we connect with our kids, be it a relationship breakup or an exam failure or peer pressure or RAPE ...the kids will never feel.left out. Make them.emotionally so STRONG  that none of the odds on earth can shake them.
I may sound insane to you right now, but I am.sure I am not wrong!!! FOOD FOR THOUGHT!!


  1. Hi Dipti,
    Totally agree with you. We have done enough of fighting and thought processing and DISCUSIONS. I for one will not tell my daughter not to go out of the house, not to wear certain clothes. But yes I am teaching her self defense. Wonder what kind of Mom it makes me but I am bloody fed up of feeling helpless everytime she wants to do something which may have consequences like getting raped. When will the law be such that before doing such an act the criminal will think twice not the victim before going out of the house.

  2. Well written and emotions strongly conveyed. You have mirrored the thoughts of many women beautifully. U are right. emotional strength and the ability to defend oneself has to be developed. We need to act not discusd...loved every bit of your post :)