"WIN" without the N

Its just one year that I have entered this fabulous world of blogging. I started blogging to put words to my unending thoughts and that pressing urge to express myself. It was purely meant to be as a personal digital diary for keep sake.

So who was the blog about?

A new mother who wanted to capture every moment of motherhood. A self obsessed individual who wanted to share her deeper thoughts only with herself and didnt want anybody to judge it for her. A foodie who wanted to explore new eateries and write about it. A passionate traveller who could write pages of travelogues to remember every moment well spent while travelling. A working woman who has a new challenge to face everyday at work and new sets of problems while juggling with the personal professional life balance. And most important write about the woman in me who is as romantic and as vulnerable as any other woman on earth.

The personal diary slowly began to involve alot of friends and family to it. I started writing about my challenges as a working mother and my emotions as a mother. And people started connecting to the emotions. Which started as a personal diary started inspiring others. And their feedbacks started inspiring me. 

I was inspired to write in a contest by a friend and then there was no stopping. Winning prizes was another inspiration to my little endeavour. 

So by now I have become 50 % blogger. The only thing remaining was networking with other bloggers. 

Being an extrovert in real life in itself is too taxing at times. You are expected to be high in spirit and smiling all the time. And it comes naturally to you. So I decided to be different in the blogosphere. I decided to keep it low and let my words speak and connect to people. Rather than me networking with fellow bloggers.

I read quite a few blogs. I have my favourites as well. I appreciate many and many inspire me. But I want to refrain from networking in the blogosphere. 

So with the WRITE, INSPIRE and NETWORK, to WIN I am short of N. But I still feel like a WINNER and I would continue to WRITE and INSPIRE.

                     

This post has been written as  part of the WIN '14 Activity at BlogAdda

My story of Motherhood - JAB WE MET!

I felt blessed chasing my two little daughters in the playground while their giggles filled the whole atmosphere with a divine happiness. It’s been 4 years that I have been blessed with this privilege of motherhood. Since then the journey has been phenomenal. A new direction to life. A new purpose to live more positively and a rejuvenated relationship with my better half.

The day I was told I am expecting I was happy, anxious, nervous everything at once. As a child, I was so fond of kids that in the whole clan if any new born baby was born I wanted to be the first to hold them. So now having my own baby was like I have struck a gold mine. I started imagining the little pink hands, feet, lips, fingers of the little dream which was going to come true.

I had promised myself that I would be a good mother. I have told my unborn baby that I would take good care of her and love her infinitely.

Pregnancy was my first stepping stone to motherhood. I already felt responsible for the life inside me. I ate healthy so that she is getting healthy food. I read positive things so that she is charged by positivity all over. By default the aggressive person in me started behaving calm and composed as subconsciously the mother in me wanted to behave good in front of my baby. All the junk food, tea, chocolates and unhealthy stuff was out of the diet and I was totally conscious of what I give my darling.

Morning sickness to me was the sign of my motherhood, the sign of something developing inside me. So I never cribbed about it. Every ultrasound was awaited like the first rain in the desert. The curiosity and pleasure of watching my baby on the screen and hearing her heartbeats made every scan special to me. I still remember the image of my baby sucking her thumb inside the womb. And the wonderful 4 D scan where you are actually looking at your full grown baby. I have stuck all the ultrasound pictures in my daughters scrapbook because those were special and are my first interactions with my baby.

The wait for that first kick and then experiencing it finally, was no less than the feeling of falling in love for the first time. The pampering received by my beloved, the whole family and friends made me feel blessed. There were few weak moments when I felt vulnerable and tired, but the spirit of motherhood never lets you stop. I just needed to chant the Gayatri Mantra and I was guided by the divine power.

There was another guiding power in my pregnancy, my wonderful gynecologist Dr Vidya Desai. I still remember the unending questions of the first time mother in me. And how she answered it with patience and dedication. How the cheerful face of her made the whole experience of pregnancy seemed like a cake walk to me! I knew with her around, my baby is in safe hands. I trusted her blindly.

I have read some hundreds of maternity articles and books in those 9 months. Spoke to thousands of mothers and would be mothers about their experiences. Have tried to ignore the horrid case studies of some and avoided reading the C-section chapters everywhere possible. So the decision of going through a C-section was a horrifying one for me. But I knew I am in good hands, with her expertise and modern technology available, I would recover soon.

So finally I agreed for the C-section and I was operated. The experience was nothing like people have scared me off. Lovely rooms, smiling nurses, well lit operation theaters and friendly support staff made the ordeal look easy. And in less than 15 minutes I heard the sweetest cry of the world. My baby was born!! I was impatient to see the baby, to hold her. I wasn’t bothered that I was operated and my stomach was still open and moved to hold the baby. The operation theater was filled with laughter by this gesture of mine and they understood my eagerness to hold my baby. Wrapped in a soft cloth, my howling baby was brought near me. I said “HI my baby!!” Then what happened was divine!!

My baby for few seconds stopped crying and looked straight into my eyes. A 3.2 kg cotton ball with bright sparkling eyes and pink skin was staring at me as if she knows me. She recognizes my voice. She knows it’s me!! The same mother whom God has assigned for her. Who has spoken to her every day for hours when she was inside. The one who has heard her cries when she was hungry and caressed her when she was restless and kicking. We understood each other well. And she acknowledged that she knows it’s me!!

That was the moment when I understood what it is to be a mother. And why is mother-child relationship the closest of all the relationships on earth!! That day I was on “CLOUD 9” and there is no looking back thereafter…

This post was written with the intention to participate in the blogging contest held by CLOUD 9. http://blog.cloudninecare.com/jab-we-met/

Avani's 2nd dose of the day! !(30 Jan 2014 )

At home, while we try to talk purely in Hindi, we also try to use less of slang and more respectful language to make sure kids learn the same. So generally we address the kids as "AAP" and avoid "TUM" or "TU" slang for all.
Today I had asked my driver to bring some stuff from the market and after taking the stuff from him I informed

Mummy: Tu chala ja, aaj aur koi kaam nahi hai
Avani:(instantly) Mummy TU nahi bolte. TU bolna gaandi baat hoti hai!!

I didnt know how to react infront of the driver. He is a 20-21 years age boy whom if I call AAP, he will die out of laughter!
Though the intention of teaching respectful language to the kids is to make sure they learn to speak respectfully to elders but here at this age to teach them to discriminate as per the age is very difficult. If I tell Avani you can call TUM to somebody younger to you, the first person she will start using it for would be me! As mentally she doesnt treat me more than her age. :p
CHALLENGES OF PARENTING!!

Avani's dose of the day!! (30 Jan 2014)

I was reading out a book to Avani. There was a picture of a little girl with her grandfather in the green meadows. So I pointed out that this is the girl and he is her grandfather.

Mummy: He is her grandpa!!
Avani: (confused whats grandfather as we have not started conversing in English with her. We try to speak in Hindi with her mostly) Kaun Grandpa?
Mummy: Grandpa means NANU
Avani: Oh NANU
Mummy: Yes NANU!!
Avani: Aapke PAPA hai Grandpa??

I was LOL! How does this little brain of a 2 year old associate Grandpa with NANU and then Grandpa with Mumma's Pa?

The Bloggers Block!!

Its been nearly two months I have been drowned in work work and more work. It was crazy,working late nights even on weekends without thinking of the little kiddos at home and missing the most awaited festivals too.
My daughters second birthday (Christmas Day), New year eve, Sankranti, Lohri everything came and went off without the usual charm because I was drowned with office work. But at the end of it, its all worth it. At the end of the day, you need that job satisfaction to keep going with the monotonus IT job.
Everything has returned back on place, I am spending enough time with kids to compensate those two months. I am back to my hobbies like cooking, exercising, spending time with friends and a little bit of craft here and there. Even the social life and weekends have started to fall into place. I have started enjoying the songs on radio every morning while driving to work and doing my share of household chores with the same flair.
But there is something which is amiss. Something I have loved doing all year around last year. I used to look forward to get those free minutes at work when I can pen down my thoughts. And I used to enjoy wrting for the contests on the blogosphere. And also read thoughts of other like minded people around. I was on a different high with the accolades and awards I received in just one year. And I had full plans to continue doing it forever and ever.

And guess what? I am struck by a dangerous disease... very fatal for the BLOGGER in me. I am struck by the BLOGGERS BLOCK :(. The online contests on Indiblogger and Blogadda nomore interests me. My thoughts are cluttered. I am thinking of too many things at a time and cannot conclude on what I want to write upon! I have temporarily lost the ability to pen down the trivial things I observe around me everyday.
Somebody told me that this is a condition faced by many of the bloggers due to long gaps, personal preoccupations, work stress and sometimes JLT (Just Like That). And it has a awful name "BLOGGER's BLOCK"!! 
Help my blogger friends!! How do I overcome this? Anybody with their own stories regarding this awful condition ?? 

Flight of Fantasy

Oh so beautiful I am!

Oh so beautiful I am!

Flaunting the Yellow red blue green wings, singing the happy songs

God has made me lucky and blessed me with the charm

Sitting in the diamond studded gold cage with the choicest delicacies in my plate

Admiring onlookers and envious peers are in my golden destiny

Oh So beautiful I am!!

Behind the radiant wings lies the soul of an ordinary bird

Who is choked behind the golden bar,Who wants to fly, to be free

To explore and live the dream of his steep flight

He wants to fall, he wants to strive, with every passing day he wants to learn

The bars are golden and the perks indispensible

The love of my master and the cozy comfort of his house cannot be compared

But my heart is childish and he still craves for the flight of fantasy

Flight where I am the master and the Creator of my own destiny!!

Oh so beautiful I am!!

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.
This post got selected as a WOW post on Blogadda.

Avani's dose of the day!! Education and Learning

I was playing at home in the evening with my two daughters,Avani(2 yrs), Khushi(4.5 yrs) after work. Khushi brought three plastic balls and started playing with it. Avani joined her and in her usual inquisitive manner started observing the balls keenly. One of the balls among them was the gems ball which contained gems inside. And Avani started trying to open the ball. I wanted to discourage her of eating GEMS at that time, so I told her that it doesnt open. Infact I mockingly tried to open the ball and showed it doesnt open. So I thought she will give up but this is what happened...
Mummy: Baby, it doesnt open. Its a ball, not a box
Avani: Open,,,Open,....pleassseee mamma
Mummy: It doesnt open, I tried opening it,,but it didnt!

Then I was watching her keenly. She was not satisfied with my answer and kept trying to open it. And finally after 10 minutes of efforts she was able to open it.

I thought to myself, if I was at her place and somebody told me that it cannot be done, I would have given up. I would have thought its beyond my capacities to open it. This is how education/learning works on us. When we are small, our horizons are unlimited. A child does not go with others verdict, and find his own horizons. Its funny how we adults fail to experiment and try for things which are declared impossible/difficult. We with our confined knowledge always put boundaries to our learning, to our vision and capabilities whereas we all are born with unlimited capabilities. Some who question the beliefs and knowledge become inventors and 95 % of us who know everything are mere bookworms who have never gone beyond the realm of books and inherited knowledge.
Wish our education and learning process was better. Wish we could bring out the unknown rather than just mugging and vomiting the knowledge which is already discovered.

I know of many like minded females who try to make their kids more inquisitive and discovering,but once they get into the zone of school and exams, everything fades away. We have a brilliant mugger and not so brilliant mugger. Where does our inventors and observers go? Somebody please help our education system in India!!