Daughter?? In India?? Gear her up, NOW!!

I cannot fathom as to how casually we can take rape cases that to gang rape cases like a robbery or any other corruption cases. Please understand whatever century we are in, rape is not exploitation of just the body, it takes away the soul from the body of the victim. The trauma they must be going through is unimaginable!!

But today I dont want to discuss about that. Enough of discussing now, we need to evaluate and find some solutions. And I am not talking big...I dont have the ability to change the government nor do I have the power to bring the SHOOT AT RISK/SIGHT policy for all the morons. And on the other side, I am totally against the concept of adapting to the society. I cannot ask my daughters to be clad in a BURKHA just because jerks outside might have a heneous eye on them. Common grow up, if girls start wearing BURKHA was the solution, Pakistan n other Islamic countries would have no rape cases at all. Beauty is always in the eyes of the beholder and similarly...GROSSNESS is also in the eyes of beholder.So lets not even go there!
Then being from an affluent society I can settle abroad without having to think about anything. But can I just find any place on earth where I can be sure of safety?? Not really!!:( And what about other girls of my country,who have no chance of running away from.this.situation?? )
So now, when I have ruled out locking the gurls in the house, making them wear a BURKHA and also running away from.my country.I am.left with some more bold ideas.
First is self defence. Teaching martial arts of any kind would make our kids physically strong if not for fighting.out the monsters, atleast for running away if the need be. Pepper spray should be gifted on birthdays. Rakhi n all.ocassions to remind the girls to carry them all.the time.
Second, avoid going in secluded places. Even with brothers boyfriends or husbands you can never b safe in a secluded place. Libraries, lifts, rest rooms, public buses, trains all should have cameras. Cameras will induce some amouny of fear of being caught. Most of the monsters doing such crimes are white collared citizens who have a lot of public fear otherwise. Every person has an angel and a devil.in him. Usually the angelic sides are for the world n devilish when you are sure of annonimity.
Third, strict punishment within 1 month of the crime. In India, there is no fear of law. The rich get away with the influence and the not so rich are confident of the impotency of our legal system. So lets for once be potent enough to bring such extreme rules. But again as I said, its not in my reaches. So no use discussing.
Teaching the new India our sons and brothers to respect women is part of the whole change required for improving the situation. Start from home and make sure girls at home are treated equally.
Now, last and the most important and unheard of things which I have to write is about the emotional strength.i know unlike the past times, new India has started to realise that the victim is at no fault..Parents now dont disown their poor girls for being raped and molested. They even try to help.them to cope.up.with the trauma. But I see it differently. I think we should educate them and prepare them to deal with such trauma irrespective of our status, caste creed or age. I mean as we give sex education to our kids, we should give.them education  for dealing.with traumas also. Its a very sensitive topic and none of us will ever be able to imagine our kids as a victim but imagine if GOD FORBID it happens. Most girls in India still commit suicide if they go through this. Even when they are not at fault, girls cannot take the trauma.
We Indians communicate.less.with our kids and we forget that in this process of maintaining an hierarchy we forget to.connect. If we connect with our kids, be it a relationship breakup or an exam failure or peer pressure or RAPE ...the kids will never feel.left out. Make them.emotionally so STRONG  that none of the odds on earth can shake them.

I may sound insane to you right now, but I am.sure I am not wrong!!! FOOD FOR THOUGHT!!

HEART BLEEDS FOR FREEDOM AT THE STROKE OF MIDNIGHT!!

At the stroke of midnight..when the roads are engulfed by the dark,

I want freedom to dawn in every heart of my country.
When I have an opinion, 
I want the freedom to opinionate it without thinking about my religion or caste or gender.
The every wrong I see around, 
I want the courage to protest and eliminate
The bygones be bygones, 
atleast now I want the leaders to awake and arise and for once keep the country before the self.
My people are full of tallent, 
let the merits for once be decided not by minority or majority but purely the worth
Love is our birth right and 
none needs a moral police to decide for us how who when n where we want to connect
Every kid in my country is my future, my countries future. 
I demand their basic right of education.
List can go on and you may choose to ignore me as greedy gruch. 
Before you do that, I insist to be treated as an EQUAL.
I am a WOMAN but still a HUMAN!!

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

TALE OF DISCOVERY OF CINDERELLA

In India, the most undeserving people behave like kings and queens in front of the people below them. They knowingly/unknowingly humiliate their sub-ordinates, helpers, community helpers, drivers, maids and servants. Forget treating them equals, people don’t even treat them like humans. They often forget if it was not for these people, the equilibrium of our houses would go for a toss.

We have been taught to respectful and compassionate to all, irrespective of their jobs. And I tried to inculcate the same values in my kids since they were born.

Talking with respect to the plumbers, electricians, carpenters who come in the house for work. Being compassionate to the maids and servants working for us and doing all our house work was the first lesson I had taught my kids. When the staff at home is sick, I personally take them to the doctor and make sure they are not exerting themselves till they get better is what my kids have seen. And as rightly said, my daughter followed me and she displayed the same respect and compassion to the people working for us.

But things started changing when she started with her pre-school. I noticed that she is becoming more selfish, arrogant and disrespectful towards the staff. We have a  full time old staff at home which is like family and she started mistreating her. After a bit of research, I figured out that she is getting influenced by her surroundings. I saw kids around her are throwing tantrums, hitting their house maids, spitting at the drivers, screaming at the security guards, bullying the kids of the staff. I was so sorry for them and wished their parents realized what they are doing is what their kids are learning. I was very sad to hear from a 6 year old boasting to her mother that "I will handle this Maya(her house maid who is of her mothers age) Mumma, you don’t bother!". Do you really think, with this behaviour your kid would ever learn the RIGHT thing?

Now, before educating the world, I had a bigger task in my hand. I had a 3 year daughter who has already learnt a little bit of WRONG from her surroundings and now I had to "DO IT RIGHT". But I didn’t want to preach her, I wanted to educate her. I wanted her to figure out,  her own definition of GOOD and BAD. So I had a master plan to execute.

I told my house maid to stop doing all her work. I started this experiment on Saturday on a weekend, when I was off from work. She got up in the morning and shouted "Didi,, Du du", I told her "Beta, Didi is not well, you have to make your own milk!".She didn’t understand what I meant, then I told "Ok, I will make milk for you and bring, but you need to ask me politely". She pleaded " Mummy, please give me some milk!". I gave her milk. Then she shouted again, "Didi, I want that chocolate!". I again told her, "I would give it to you if you ask and not order!". Likewise, till Sunday evening, I corrected her. She understood that things will not move unless she requested me for it.

Then in the night during her bedtime stories, I told her the epitomic CINDERELLA story in which I purposely stressed on how the step mom and step sisters asked Cinderella to do all the work and spoke so disrespectfully to her. How life gets fortunate to some and unfortunate to some. At the end of the story I told her to summarize the story. And as expected, she co-related my house maid to Cinderella. She became compassionate towards Cinderella and in turn towards my house maid too. That was an enlightening moment for her; and a proud moment for me. She had absorbed just the correct thing I wanted to convey to her.

That was the last day when she misbehaved with my house maids, or driver or helpers. She has gone a step ahead of respect and compassion and started loving them. We go to restaurants and she asks my house maid what she wants to eat? If we don’t take my maid with us, she makes sure we are taking a parcel for her when we go back. She would not let me sleep in the afternoon on weekends, but makes sure my staff gets that one hour of rest in the afternoon every day. When my staff is not well, she is the one who goes close to her and gives the "JADDU ki JHAPPI" to heal her. She wanted to celebrate my maid’s birthday, but she didn’t know her birth date. So we have decided on a date when we celebrate my maid’s birthday. She takes care of all her smallest of wishes. Her television serials, her likings in sweets, her new clothe everything is her responsibility now. I can just see the 360 deg change in my doll after just a small lesson which I taught her.

I am not sure what she is going to be when she grows up. But I am sure, she is going to grow up to be a very nice human being. She feels the pain of people around her; she is compassionate towards the less fortunate. She can see their happiness and understand their sorrows. I just wanted to teach her to be HUMAN; she has proved me wrong and taught me how you can be a LOVELY HUMAN!!

I am sharing my Do RIght Stories at BlogAdda.com in association with Tata Capital.

Won the first prize and got an IPAD Mini 16 Gb. Thank you all for liking it.
http://blog.blogadda.com/2013/10/23/winners-do-right-stories-contest

Avani's dose of the day!! (13th August 2013)

My 1.5 yr old daughter "Avani" was sitting on my laps facing me and I was asking her to repeat A-Z after I pronounced the letters.
So here it goes
Mummy : A
Avani     : Aee
Mummy : B
Avani     : Ba
Mummy : C
Avani     : Chiii
and so on...
Avani was a little distracted, so I had to repeat it couple of times.
Mummy  : I...Avani look,,,IIIIIIIIII
Avani promptly replied
Avani     : Lub u!!

I read somewhere that you should often tell your loved ones that you love them. So I have a habbit of telling both my kids "I love you" all the time. So Avani remembered that and completed my "I" with the "LUB u". Like they complete me, they have started completing my sentences also. It was an AWWW moment for a mother.

Life is a long holiday!! This time the venue is Singapore!!

For most of the people the four topmost things which give them happiness would be Food, Friends, Family and Travel. Imagine if you can combine all these things? Wow, what a deadly combo it would make!! It would be like exploring the world, taking my world with me!!

So, when I was asked "If you could take your family or friends to any place on the planet, where would that be and how would you make your trip the happiest one ever?". I started thinking of options. I started weaving a beautiful dream which would make me the happiest. I thought of Paris, the capital of romance. I thought of New York, the Big Apple. Sydney,  the place which always excites me. The list seemed unending, there are so many places I want to see and so many places I have already seen.

Out of all the places I have already seen, for a family- friends holiday, I would choose Singapore. Yes, not an exotic or out of the world place, but it’s just perfect for a jolly holiday with my loved ones. Where I don’t need to carry vegetarian food or warm clothes. Or need to learn a language to communicate or punch a big fat hole in my pocket to explore it completely. So SINGAPORE it is.

In Today's world, with Yatra.com to our rescue, we do not need  to be scared about the planning of the trip. The tickets, the accommodation, the visa and even the sightseeing is taken care. They not only help you in planning your trip, but their enthusiastic associates give you the most precious tips to make your holiday perfect at that particular destinations.

What do you want from your holiday? Festive atmosphere, thrilling adventure, awesome food, colourful culture, beautiful beaches, fun theme parks for the kids, animal safaris or sports! Singapore has all that! Singapore is the haven for tourists from all over the world. It hosts almost all the tourist activities for all age groups.

So I would take my family and close friends with me for this trip. And that would include people from the age of 1 yr to 75 yrs. Some of them are nature and wildlife lovers, some adventure lovers, some kids crazy for water parks, some foodies, some shopaholics, some gamblers and some ready for starting a big fat book to be read in the calm lounge of a resort.

So our journey would begin at the beautiful Changi Airport in Singapore. After all the research, the apt place for accommodation seems to be the Marina Bay Sand Resort. One of the most spectacular resorts of the world. It boasts of an infinity pool on the top of 57 floors, casino, number of restaurants, shopping arenas, theatres, museums and everything you can think of under three roofs(Bad joke, but that’s how it is. The three skyscrapers hosting a tray like structure).

Comfortable rooms, good food and a free mind is enough to enjoy any vacation, but since I want to make it the best. I plan for a lot of fun activities for all. The usual late night sessions of card games, antakshari and word games would always be there when the gang is together, but that is more impromptu so that doesn’t need to be planned. The planning part would be something like this...

First I will cater to the most enthusiastic lot, the kids, the adventure lovers and the theme park lovers!

Sentosa is an island resort with a man- made beach, Fort Siloso, golf courses, hotels and the fabulous theme park Universal Studios. There is a huge  Merlion which is the imitation of the original one, there is Marina Life Park with the world's largest oceanarium. The Dolphin show in the Dolphin lagoon is a sheer treat for the kids as well as adults. The Butterfly park, the Nature Discovery are ways to bringing your children close to nature. It is thrilling to experience skyline luge and cable cars. You can see the whole Singapore skyline from the Tiger Sky tower in Sentosa. If you are a water person, Palawan beach, Siloso Beach and others are a must visit. My best memories of Singapore includes the hour long laser show in Sentosa. It was the first time I was watching a laser show and believe me, in 5 years, more than 7 countries I have visited in this period. But I have not seen any laser show which even comes close to this one.

Singapore Zoo, Jurong Bird Park, Night Safari, River Safari, Marine Life Park is the perfect way to introduce the kids with nature and wildlife. Night safari especially is very exciting and an unusual way of experiencing the woods.

Now time for the Foodies and the shopaholics!!

Singapore boasts of a cosmopolitan crowd and with that comes a variety of cultures. You should visit the place to experience the Indian-ness in Little India. They have Mustafa market full of Indian/Asian people pushing and pulling each other on one hand and on the other hand, people breaking traffic rules without any fear in those few lanes of Little India.

Similar vibes you get when you enter China Town. The marvellous red Chinese lamps, the bright and exquisite hand crafted runners, the China made electronic toys, the Fensui Bamboo shoots and everything that China is known for would be available there.

Apart from Little India and China Town, there are various other shopping malls for electronics, toys, garments, etc like Sim Lim Square, Central, ION Orchard, Junction 8 etc.  All the shopping malls are based in and around The Singapore Flyer.

Now let’s get a little mushy. Singapore has a romantic side to it too!!

My personal favourite in Singapore is The Clarke Quay. There is a small lake/quay in the centre of the city, around which you will find a lot of small cosy restaurants serving all types of cuisines. They are very beautifully decorated and makes up for the most romantic locations to dine. Soft music playing in the background, beautifully lit tables with candles placed overlooking the quay. In the quay, they operate boats for enjoying the lovely serene waters and in the night those boat rides become a luring location for dinner dates. Just sitting next to the quay on the steps would make you forget all the worries in the world. You have to experience it to feel it.

For the groovy youngsters, I plan for a fun night out in and around Orchard street.

Orchard street is the most happening street of Singapore. It’s almost like the Times Square of Singapore. The atmosphere on this street on Chinese New Year, Christmas and New year’s eve cannot be recreated even after spending crores of rupees. I don’t know if I am going to ever experience anything of that scale ever. Approximately two lakh people on the street, everybody in festive mood. Lot of stage shows happening at every nook and corner. Strangers greeting each other, girls and boys all grooving merrily. Everything is just mind blowing and you still feel  so secure. Nobody is pushing, pulling, touching each other.

The open sports bars in the perpendicular lanes of Orchard street are full of soccer enthusiasts hooting for their teams. It is almost like a chai tapri on the roads in India where people have their eyes glued to watch Sachin’s century. Of course with a little up class seating arrangement J.

People swear by the Singaporean delicacy SATAY with peanut sauce which you get best in the by lanes of Changi street. Mind you, it is not for vegetarians though L. For vegetarians The ANNAPURNA restaurant serving free satvik food for all is the best choice. You really get mesmerized by the ambiance and with the love with which the families serve the food to every visitor.  Of course free doesn’t mean you don’t tip them., its just that they don’t give you the bill.

Marina Bay Sands has many choices of pubs, discos and bars. The newly found casino culture of Singapore is attracting alot of tourists from all over the world, who love to gamble in Singapore.

The cosmopolitan culture, the vibrant nightlife, the ever enthusiastic people and the vibes of the city makes it my best holiday destination. Wish one day I can live this dream of mine. It’s never  the place,  but the company which  makes all the difference. And when the company and the place both are just right, everything is different!

This post is intended to participate in the Creating Happy Travellers! contest by Yatra.com hosted by Indiblogger.in 

Khushi's dose of the day!! (6th August 2013)

Khushi was watching TV in my room and eating her food. After finishing her food I informed her that she has to keep the plate in the sink and come.She reluctantly got up and held the plate in her palms, something like shown in the picture below.

Scared that she would drop the plate if the balance goes off, I told her

Mummy : Khushi,,, please hold the plate properly from the edges and not on your palm. If the balance of your plate goes off, it will fall.
Khushi : Why Mumma? It will not fall!! I will take care
Mummy : Khushi, you have to hold the plate from sides,,like this!!
Khushi : No Mumma, I am holding the plates as the MasterChefs do!! Isint this the way, they hold their plates? I want to be a Masterchef so I have to learn their things.

I was astonished to see the body language and the style with which she had held her plate. Talking about being a Master Chef and following the cookery show is a different thing and adapting their mannerism just by looking at them is altogether different ball game.

This shows how every gesture of ours, influences our kids innocent minds. Beware of your mannerisms and gestures infront of your kids, they are watching and learning from you.

Yeh Khusboo Kaha se AA Rahi hai!!

Smell?? Nostalgia? Memories? All the tag words refer to only one thing in life for me. And that is "MAA KE HAATH KA kHANA!!". Yes, home cooked food by my mother. 

My Mom cooks out of the world food and when I say that it has a reason, a very strong reason. My Mom is the perfect ANNAPORNA which they mention in the holy books. The godesses of food, who can make wonders with the very basic ingredients. A delicious dish out of anything in this world. She can make Karela taste heavenly and lauki taste like an exotic Italian entree. She can turn the unwanted stems and leafs of the produce to a magical dish. She doesnt need alot of spices or ginger or alot of garlic or exotic thyme, oregano,rosemary to create a signature dish. The simplicity and the earthiness with which she cooks makes all the difference. The balance of flavours, the knowledge of merging different things together and the never stop learning attitude of her makes her food divine.

All the people around her swear by her food. The jams, the pickles, the mouthfreshners, the mocktails she makes can put any MasterChef to shame.

When I shifted to Pune for my Masters, for the first two months I  was not able to visit her. I was never a fussy eater, so did not complain of the food in those two months. Ofcourse I missed her, her mere presence means the world to me. In those two months I had realized what it was to be independent and be away from home. The thrill of freedom and the responsibility of the faith my parents had shown towards me where all there. And after those two months of struggling for the existence, I finally returned home for a weekend.

As soon as I reached home at 7 am in the morning, I smelled happiness from outside the gate. Mom had gotten up early in the morning and cooked the heavenly Indore Poha and Aata halwa for me. The sweet and tangy smell of poha made me drool for it instantly. I hugged Mom tightly and without uttering a word told her how much I missed her! Then after the stereotype comment of "Kitni sookh gayi hai tu!!" she told me to get ready and come for breakfast. 

Without even washing my hands I digged into the most awesome Poha and almost finished it up. I wasnt hungry, but I couldnt get enough of the fragrance of her love embedded in the food. I never realised till that point why they speak such highly about "MAA KE HAATH KA KHANA!!". The weekend I stayed there was a culinary treat for me. Mom made Cream fruit salad, Lauki kofta, Bajra roti (hand rolled), pithala( besan with onion), Mattar Methi Malai, Veg Pulav, Dal Dhokli etc etc for me. I am sure I must have gained 4 kgs weight in those 2 days. 

The fragrance of Home made cake Mom had cooked on all our birthdays is still fresh in my mind. I miss that smell every year on my birthday. The Kadha she made when I was not well also smelled pristine to me. I would prefer that over any other medication. We all have infinite memories of MAA KE HAATH KA KHANA and we can never get enough of that AROMA FROM HEAVENS.

This post is written as a part of ‘Smelly to Smiley‘ contest at Indiblogger.com in association with AmbiPure