GIFTING THE WHOLE WORLD TO YOU TODAY

Its Christmas time and raining gifts everywhere. And Christmas being my daughters birthday, it becomes extra special to us. We have Santa himself as a gift from GOD. There are so many things only parents can give/inculcate in kids.
So what is there in today's world that would make for the best gifts for my kids? How do I do my part as a parent well and at the same time make sure I help them shape as a good human being and find real happiness in life.
Do I want them to be rich and spoilt?? Do I want them to excel at work? Do I want them to be beauty queens? Do I want them to be rebels? What exactly I want for them? After short listing from a long long list of my wishes for my two beautiful daughters, I came up with the below

SATISFACTION:
I want to teach them SATISFACTION as my first gift to them. Whether you are rich, beautiful or successful, unless you are satisfied in what you have and what you are. You can never be happy. So I want to teach them to be happy.
It is the most difficult quality in a person. Your wishes and wants will never let you be satisfied and hence you can never be happy with the greeds. So to be satisfied you have to know what exactly you need and in what quantity. Once I get an Alto, I would want an Esteem, then SX4, then City, then Superb, then Audi, then Jaguar and then..then ..then.. So you need to know what is need and what is your greed!
Now you might say I am curbing them of being ambitious.Yes, in a way. I want my kids to be happy than be ambitious. As they say, ITS VERY LONELY THERE AT THE TOP. I never want them to be lonely.
SELF RESPECT:
Nothing can be more important than your self respect. Right from standing up for your rights to moving out of a bad relationship. Everything is self respect. You dont need ego but you need self respect in your children. It also includes respecting their own individuality.  I will teach them to guage themself on how beautiful you feel about yourself. God has made everyone unique n everyone special. So always respect yourself first then expect others to respect you.
This gift is important to me because I feel if you respect yourself you would always live dignified and a moral life. You would think twice before you talk ill about others or do anything wrong to others. Afterall u have to respect yourself in the mirror.
As mother of girls, I would teach them to say a NO for any threat to their physicality and never bear with nonsense from anybody in any circumstances. Similarly for mothers with sons, please teach them basic human to human respect if not extra respect towards the fairer sex. We dont need any more Nirbhaya/Damini in India.

EDUCATION:
For me everything is education.  Right from teaching them ABCD to teaching them self defense. Unlike our parents I dont want my kids to study and become doctors, engineers or lawyers. If given a chance I would erase these three fields from the history of education.  But I am not superman to have super powers, so need to stick to my kids education at this point of time.
So bottom line is education is enlightenment of mind and not vomitting of pages of crap rehearsed for nights. I love the awesome ways of teaching in preschools these days. They teach them those basics which we so called educated people failed to learn in our regressive ways of learning.
Education to me means a holistic development of a child. Right from cooking your own meal to learning to let go of things in life, everything is education. Emotional balance, physical well being, cultural awareness, an opinion of your own on things happening around are very basic things which make you enlighten in life. SO I want to teach them that!
That musical instrument which gives rythme to your child. Or that dancing lesson which can be their stress busters in life. And that little creative activity of crafts or drawing or magic.All  is part of education for me.
Being compassionate towards the less fortunate, empathy, forgiveness can be taught in a right way to kids at a very young age.
I also want to teach them to be happy and open to the world. To absorb new ideas and new culture around them and seek lessons in every failure they encounter. I would teach them to travel alot and live their life without baggages. You only get one life, its not worth wasting that on carrying baggages of tradition, responsibility and right/wrong. Living life fully is more important than living it correctly for me.
INDEPENDENCE:
Ofcourse, its important to be satisfied, to be happy, to be educated and the list is unending. But for gaining all the other things, you need to be independent. Independence means alot of different things to alot of different people. For a child, it is independence of their room, of their clothes, of their toys and sometimes from the nagging of their parents. For a teenager it is going out for a movie with friends, a night out with friends, freedom to choose, freedom to experiment. Youngsters might find independence in  being a rebel, choosing their partners, travelling alone and adventures. Adults want independence financially, emotionally and socially at times. So the definition of freedom is very subjective to the person, but the emotion is common.
Independence of thought, independence of being what you want to be, having the power of doing what you want in life is the key to success. If you are free socially from the norms of the society, you would not fear venturing new relationships and sometimes moving out of abusive relationships also. If you are free financially, you would not cult your desire for that London trip you want to do. If you are independent emotionally, you would not fall in the trap of wrong and right according to the society.
I go to the extent of doing the trivial things of an electrician/plumber or a carpenter independently. There is nothing on this earth I would want to be dependent on anybody. Ofcourse, everybody has a role to play in your life, but the little extent of independence in fixing my bulb, or a leakage in tap or a small nail which needs to be drilled is something I would not like my kids to be dependent on anybody.
Simple things like driving a car, doing your own banking and investments, managing your finances, looking after your hobbies, choosing who and how you want to be connected, that important visit to the doctor for health checkup, keeping aside money for your own passions is what I call independence. Job or any form of work which is necessary for your independence should never be compromised. Independence leads to self respect, self respect leads to happiness and happiness is the crux of life.

LIFE INSURRANCE:
Personally I am of the opinion that I would not leave a penny behind for my kids when they grow up. Firstly, I believe everybody comes with a destiny of their own and secondly, I am sure I will make them enough and more capable of looking after themself and their family needs. So why LIFE INSURANCE then?
The concept is simple! There is no certainity of life. Today I am there, taking care of their every small needs and wish. There is nothing on earth I cannot get them if its good for them, but what if I am not there? Would anybody come and take care of them as I do?
Money is especially very important for keeping them happy and satisfied as a child. Education, travel, hobbies and everything under the sun needs a finite amount to be paid. I cannot expect anybody to be struggling for food and persuing their hobbies. If you are not monetarily secure, you cannot think anything except for food. And the cycle of survival engulfs you for all your life. So for me the most important point is securing their future. Till they are 18 yrs, I want to be responsible for all their needs and try to fulfill all valid wishes of them.
If my child is a fabulous Ballet dancer, I dont want to deprive her of those 4k dancing shoes which is a need for her at that point of time. Currently a Kindergarten costs 1.25 lakh per year, with that inflation, I cannot imagine their higher studies to be anything less than 1.25 cr per year. Even with merit these days you cannot correlate to our times of costs on education. I would not plan for their profession/passion in life, but as a parent I want to plan for their needs to get to that profession/passion of life. I am responsible for my kids and I would want to secure their future with a life insurrance. So life insurrance is among the first five gifts in my list.
And with infinite love, infinite emotional security and infinite dreams I can make them happy individuals.

This post is a part of the 1001 Gifts Activity by HDFC Life in association with BlogAdda

Summary of the year

Its time yet again to introspect the past and resolve for the future,
The Baniya blood in me is ready for the hisaab kitaab for the year!

Year full of goodwill and enthusiasm,
And at the same time no significant changes and improvements

Some genuine criticism which helped me evolve,
And some fake appreciation which left me untouched

Some new friendships which became closer than expected,
Some close friendships which were thrashed in egos and jealosies

The moments of glory like never before which humbled me
And the failures which compelled me to do better

That one strong relationship of love where there is no pretence and doubts, it keeps growing richer like the old wine every year   And you realise with every passing year, what you have is so perfect and exceptional

Some overwhelming days when you are lost in discovering the reason of your being
And days when you know you are a blessed soul in every respect

A week long birthday celebration with 7 chocolate cakes to pamper me
And some celebrations which had to wait for a week to be celebrated to its glory

Long awaited visit to the roots and the land of infinite memories
And some travels to the untravelled path and unseen beauty

Some moments when you question your identity amidst other roles in life
And others when identities doesnt matter at all

The pleasure of watching your creation getting more beautiful each day
And the awareness of the subconscious mind where you know "BABIES DONT REMAIN!!"

The year full of new found commitments and people
Some there to stay and some to teach you life a bit better

The year of self improvement and self realisation
When you strive hard to pull out time for yourself and your needs

Some bright mornings when health and happiness prevails
And other gloomy days when nothing seems to be going your way

Worklife with highs and lows as usual
And a stronger determination to make it work despite all odds

Some complicated relationships around which leaves you disturbed
And on the other hand some wonderful simple bonds which make you believe love still exists

Overall a roller coaster ride of events with a very positive vibe at the end
Looking forward for yet another great year ahead with my wishlist already oozing to the edge!!

Avani's dose of the day! !(4th Dec 2013)

Avani(2 yrs) and Khushi(4.5 yrs) were playing with their Dad when Dad removed few 5 Rs coin from his wallet. As soon as Khushi saw the coins she wanted those coins as pocket money.

Khushi : Papa pls give me those coins, my pocket money!!
Dad : No, you already have your piggy bank full! I won't give it to you this time!!
Khushi : Ok
Dad : Avani, Do you want pocket money??
Avani looked sad and lost, so Dad asked again
Dad : Avani, Do you want pocket money??
Avani gives a sad look and showed her pants and top and signed...
Avani : Pocket nahi hai!! Pocket nahi hai!!

It split all of us into laughter. Its funny why pocket money is called pocket money when mostly its never kept in the pocket by kids!! And funnier when a 2 yr old refuses to take her pocket money because she doesnt have a pocket in her dress!!

Black (Blackberry crush) is always IN!!

What? Blogging about a breezer? Are you serious? I know many of us would be very happy with the prizes announced for this contest, but honestly the thought of blogging for the BREEZER is more interesting than winning that full year stock of breezer. Especially for a teetotaler like me who is not a great fan of alcohol.
Now, if I am a Teetoataler, why am I here? Come on, the dictionary meaning of teetoataler might be "A person who never drinks alcohol" but the person who drinks breezer also comes in the same category I feel.
What is a breezer? 4.4 % alcohol in some fruit juice/fruit flavoured areated drink right? So it doesnt really mean sin(read alcohol).If you bottoms up 4 bottles of breezer in 10 min still you will never get drunk I am sure.
So now, when I dont call it alcohol, whats such a big fuzz about it? Why am I such a big fan of it and why on earth do I need to break my teetoataler profile for it?
Its pretty simple and most of us -BREEZER drinkers will agree to it. Breezers are yummy!! They serve multiple purposes in my life. One, I can do the social drinking without the imaginary block of not drinking alcohol.And secondly and the most important is avoiding the horrible bitter taste and unbearable smell of alcohol. Breezer is such an amazing amalgamation of fruit juice and carbonated drink and just a bit of alcohol that it becomes doubly refreshing. Its just like ready to drink cocktails, which are preferred over any drink all over the world.
Lime, Orange, Pineapple, Craneberry, Jamaican passion from Bacardi are all brilliant. I had phases of all of them. Everytime I thought this is the best Bacardi could make, but I was wrong. After I have tasted Blackberry Crush all the others are crushed from my list. Blackberry crush in breezers to me is just like the LBD (Little black dress) which never goes out of fashion and everybody desires it whether you agree to it or no!!

The sweet and sour taste of Blackberry gives the perfect blend to match with just anything. Blackberry crush can be taken as a drink before food and also as a companion with food. With food, it serves as a fruit juice for me. It has that wonderful berry color which when put in a glass can attract any teetoataler to take a sip. Though I like to carry the breezer bottle and show off my drink.

Going down memory lane..On my very first girls night out during college, the most bold thing we had done was getting the bottles of breezer in my friends house and drinking that one bottle whole night. Its crazy how we grow up and the most fun and exciting things become so casual and trivial eventually.

So if Baracdi wants to increase their sale and want more teetoataler like me to be their customers, I strongly recommend my team to win. BLACKBERRY CRUSH IS THE BEST BACARDI BREEZER and we will ,,,we will WIN IT!!

This post is written with the intention of participating in "CATCH THE FLAVOUR" contest held by Bacardi at indiblogger.in .

Jelly fish and Turtle @ Under water creature's day

Khushi's dose of the day!! (23rd Nov 2013)

Khushi(4.5 yr) being a very shy, sensitive child, she gets tears in eyes for  almost any small thing. Somebody tells her something, she gets hurt or a casual kids fight in school..she is ready to complain and cry. With great efforts and with passing time we have consoled her to fight for her own rights and in any situation tell herself "I AM GOOD..I AM FINE". Yes it was inspired by the ALL IZZ WELL mantra.
So in school while practising for some race for sports day, she was pushed by her partner. She fell very badly on her forehead and her forehead was swollen almost for a week after that. Teachers gave her first aid, we made sure no internal injuries are there and subsequently everything was fine.
Last week when we went to meet her Teacher during a PTA session. Casually, the topic was discussed and I was trying to tell the teachers its nobody's fault and these things are part and parcel of growing up. That time Khushi's teacher informed me that when Khushi was hurt badly and they asked her if it pained..there was only one reply she gave to them and it was
"I AM GOOD..I AM FINE"

Winning is NOT Everything but definitely A beautiful start to many things!!

8 years of work in the IT industry and 96 paychecks which can get me all the material pleasures of this world can be easily outweighed by this single BLOGADDA Award which I have received today. Its true, that its never too late to start dreaming and following your passion in life. And this award signifies just that!
This is my first step towards realizing my dreams and it would always remain special to me. Ofcourse, I am enjoying all the limelight and all the accolades coming my way today. The blogger who had few hundreds of reader has suddenly been recognized by thousand of others. More than that, I am going to give my first victory speech of life! No prizes to guess, that before even winning this, I have already rehearsed it thousands of times earlier, infront of the mirror, in the bathroom, in the traffic, while coding ,while brushing and all the odd places one could have thought off. But today, I have forgotten all of it!! No ,,,really,,, I cannot remember any of those decorative language I so wanted to use for my VICTORY SPEECH.
And now the only saviour for me would be our very own GOD, the master blaster and inspiration for the whole country. Yes, SACHIN RAMESH TENDULKAR!! If it was not for him and his last speech few days back, I would have stood here dumbstruck, thinking what should I say on this ONCE IN A LIFE TIME MOMENT of my life? I would simply follow his foot steps and start by thanking the people who mattered, who actually encouraged me to get nearer to my dream, without whom I would have been still an IT porfessional, happy with her monotonus life and dragging herself every Monday to work just to wait for the next weekend to come. Yes, isint this true for all of us? Be honest!!
So I would definitely like to start with my parents. Its an irony of my life that I write mostly about my family(kids,husband,staff and parents) but my parents do not read me. They are not tech savvy and they dont read me often. But I am inherited by my Dads intellectual and Moms emotional genes, which makes a deadly combination I feel and helps me in writing things which touch the hearts.
Then I would thank my source of inspiration, my elder daughter Khushi for whom I actually started writing. The little witty answers, the innocent remarks from a 2 year old were to be cherrished for lifetime and so I started making a note of them. The personal diary of thoughts suddenly attracted alot of readers and hence my journey as a blogger started. The journey continues with my little daughter Avani, who is not less than an angel in my life.

And the most important person who encouraged me, who appreciated and criticized all my writeups is my husband. I would have never thought that those words were of any worth apart from my personal memories. But Ashish knew I have the gift of words and he motivated me to write. He has not only made my life beautiful but he also gave wings to my dreams. He still is behind my life to leave my job and become a full time writer. He sees a J K ROWLING in me :P.
Another person who has been instrumental in my journey is a colleague and a friend of mine Maneesh. We all know alot of things, but that one trigger which really changes your life forever is always special. My 16 k mails to my friends and family and a bit of rhyming here would have lost in the darkness if Maneesh didnt introduce me to blogging.
Its weird but I have a list of innanimate objects also in my list.I would be thankful to is BLOGGER.com, Blogadda and Indiblogger. I would have never made it to the wall of fame if I didnt have my very own BLOG SITE and been introduced to the wonderful world of blogging by these blog sites.
We usually remember the explicit things in life, but today I want to enlist an implicit person who was instrumental in my success. My ENGLISH teacher, Miss Chandrika. Coming from a small place where speaking in English and being good in english calls for alien looks from others around, our English teacher made her sincere efforts to inculcate those basic things in English like grammer, vocabulary, diction, expression etc in us. Rightly said by a great philosopher Aristophanes "By words the mind is winged". And those words were given to us by our teachers.
My extended family, my friends, my fellow bloggers, my critics everybody has shaped me as a good person and possibly a good blogger. I am greatful to everyone around me. Some bit of influence has been caused by my city, my society, my house, my surroundings, my country. The trivial things which I observe around me gives me energy and ideas to express.
I am very happy that in less than one year I have become a recognized blogger. We bloggers write for being read. We want to read and be read by others. Getting a prestigious award like BLOGADDA AWARDS gives not a window but full sky of possibilities to be read, to be connected with like minded bloggers. It means a world to me. The joy is equivalent to giving birth to your child as with each day you get attached to your writings as much as a child. You want it to grow, you want to to succeed, you want it to flourish!!
I would like to receive this prestigious award from the hands of CHETAN BHAGAT. He was the first writer I read and his simple words and direct speech enlightned me that only big words and decorative language doesnt make a good read. Any TOM DICK AND HARRY can express and its not the words but the expression which matters.

I would like to revamp my blog site. It should shout DIPTI  DIPTI DIPTI everywhere. Not by my portfolio photos or name, but by my personal touch. My thoughts, my writeups, my wins, my vision, my motive of blogging should be visible to anybody who visits it even once. It should be my identity and customized as per my persona. It needs a huge amount of thinking and execution to change my blog into my identity as what started as a hobby needs a makeover to be my passion.
I would definitely like to go out and indulge in the sinful DEATH BY CHOCOLATE which gives me equivalent if not more, HIGH than writing.
I would like to celebrate my victory with my family. Would like to go to my Mom's place with my husband and kids. I want to read out all the blogs to them and tell them how much my family means to me.
Thank you BLOGG ADDA to make it possible. When I make it BIG, I will definitely owe it to you also and will not forget you in my VICTORY SPEECH then :)


This would be My Winning Speech on being rewarded the BlogAdda Blog Award!

ISHQ WALA LOVE??

While driving to office today they played "ISHQ WALA LOVE" and for the first time it struck me.
Ishqwala love? Really? Whats that supposed to be? Aur kaunse kaunse wale love hote hai? A very beautiful song from STUDENT OF THE YEAR only if you can ignore the meaning of the lyrics. Sometimes you just want to enjoy the feel and music of the song rather than getting into the lyrics.
But on second thoughts and on a lighter note, I feel its very apt for our generation. As I call it; "THE CONFUSED GENERATION". We have our feet in two boats all the time. The traditional, idealistic, hypocrite, sacrifising, compromising, forever wala love and the honest, contoversial, selfish, human and realistic varieties of love.
I LOVE YOU has become such a common line unlike the older days. Ofcourse, its not wrong to express the love to anybody you love, but when you hear a lot of forms of this expression its funny.
Its like the sterotype line ""Hum Ek baar jeete hai, pyaar bhi ek baar karte hai!"" has become so fake with time. You have so many LOVE needs as human. Social love which comes in the vertical of marriage and this is supposedly also the ISHQWALA LOVE for our generation.But nowadays as they say "Marriage is the end of love!!" for many.

Then there is old crushes and ex-lovers wala love, which proves the Newton's laws stating "Energy (read Love) is never lost, it changes from one form to another". Emotional love which usually is seen among the fairer sex where the need to understand and be understood is higher than the supply. Ofcourse, physical love where  nowadays according to a survey, social networking sites are playing a critical role to make people more vocal about their attractions, lust for each other.
Then there is the MIDLIFE crisis wala love, where people have compromised for half of their lives with their current partners and now trying to find love which they have idealized all these years. There is CRAZY Love which may or may not be both sided but the person in love is so obsessed with the thought of loving him/her that nothing can stop him of doing crazy things in love. Then there is CONFUSED love where you dont know if its love or friendship or lust or forever wala love.
There are more varieties of love which are apparent , right from Friendship love, Casual  love,timepass love to finding the soulmate anywhere, any point of time of life. All are termed LOVE.
Its a controversial topic and there are no rights and wrongs here. Its the perspective you see it with. You have one life to live and one life to love,, so whether its ISHQ WALA LOVE or any other variations of love. Keep LOVING!!

FAIR OR UNFAIR?

Sunday afternoon after the toiling week at work, I was relaxing on my lazy chair with a cup of coffee in hand and a big fat book in hand. From a very long time, I have been deceiving myself and my parents that this is what I like to do on my holidays. But I couldn’t take the boredom anymore, I couldn’t take the pain of leading a lonely life anymore. I definitely deserve a better life than a 9 hrs of monotonous sick job, 3 hrs travelling in Bangalore traffic and then a pathetic weekend at home, doing nothing!

I am 29 and soon I am going to be crossing my status of being an ELIGIBLE spinster. I am going to be in my 30s, the most dreaded number for a girl. By now, most of my friends and cousins have lived their half life and started with a new phase of mid-life crisis. And I am here, not even started my family life.

Not that I did not plan it for myself or didn’t have the dreams of a normal family life as any other normal girl; It’s just that fate had some other plans for me.

Immediately after college, when Aditya and his family visited our home to see me, I was pretty skeptical about the whole arranged marriage scene. I was excited, nervous, anxious, happy all at the same time. I had seen his photograph and quite liked it also. But photos don’t speak and I wanted to speak to him.

We started with a casual hi along with a brief smile. There were no butterflies, no love at first sight, not even skipping a beat after meeting him. It was everything a first meeting between a prospective girl and guy would be. Discussing hobbies, interests, liking and talking about expectations from their ideal life partners and a little bit of awkward eye contacts while checking out each other.

 Being from a progressive society we had some time to decide before we NOD for each other. A few more get together, a few more unofficial meetings to know each other better.

In a few meetings we were very comfortable with each other. The positive vibes which I got from him helped me, open up with him. We spoke for hours together and never had dearth of topics to discuss. He was always there for me. We had met  one month back, but it seemed like we were always together. There was no pretence; there was no hurry of falling in love. We went out with each other more often now, sometimes with his friends and sometimes mine.

He visited my house anytime and went to the kitchen and picked up a bite to eat. My Mom dad liked him a lot. He was everything a girl would have imagined in her life partner. At least I thought he is the one for me. Within 2 months, I was so used to him that I couldn’t recollect how I spent my time before I met him.

I was dying to be with him and looking forward to spend my whole life with him now. But it was strange that my parents were not even interested in asking me for an answer. They had comfortably forgotten that we were not yet engaged. But as an Indian daughter, I could have not initiated the conversation myself, so I kept mum.

Aditya and I went for a lot of parties together and when he invited me to accompany him for his friend’s engagement party, I immediately agreed to it. I could have not missed another chance to dress up for him and lure him one more time to fall for me.

So that Sunday evening, I dressed exceptionally beautiful and consciously for him. He told me that his best friend is getting engaged and he is like family to him. And even before we were formally labeled as family, his family had become very important for me. So I had to be at my best for that party.

He picked me up at 7 pm. I could make out that he was not able to take off his eyes off me. I liked every bit of attention he gave me and in fact for the first time he was not speaking and just looking at me. The rare view mirror was adjusted for a different purpose tonight.

The silence in the car was beautiful; I knew love is in the air. I knew we have started liking each other. We had never spoken about this love; we were not in hurry to do that. I thought he doesn’t yet want to name this feeling, he is giving himself and me time to enjoy it without any name to it. I wanted to tell him I am ready to take the plunge. Ready to be in his arms. And I am determined to work this out with him. Amidst all these thoughts, the car stopped!!

We had reached a five star hotel where I could see the lawn is decorated with White and blue orchids and silver netted robes. It was beautiful and coincidently blue orchids are my favorite. The whole decor was classy and simple. I could sense unusual silence for a party. My first reaction was. “Ohh,, we seem to be too early for the party!”

Aditya did not respond to my reaction. He continued towards the lawn. There were few close friends of him, his family members. I greeted them with a smile. I was contemplating whether I should touch his Mom Dads feet or just be there. Then finally I touched their feet. They were ecstatic, i couldn’t fathom why!!And what I see? My friends?  My family?  My MOM DAD!! I turned towards Aditya and he was nowhere. I couldn’t see him anywhere. I went to my Mom and asked

"What are you doing here? Do you know his friend? Why didn’t you come with us then?"

Mom started laughing. I was confused. What’s going on? And suddenly I hear Aditya.

He comes next to me, gives me a reassuring smile and proceeds

"Diya, sorry to kidnap you like this and confuse you. I wanted to tell you something. Actually we all want to tell you something and ask you something. "

I was embarrassed and happy at the same time!

“My  Mom Dad want to get you home and make you family. Would you like to join us? "

Before I could reply he continued

" I am deeply and madly in love with you. You are the one I want to spend my life with. Would you like to be my life partner?  "

He was standing with a platinum love band in his hand. He had his parents, my parents and all our close friends at his side and they all waited for my answer desperately! I gestured Mom-Dad for their approval and it was a yes! I was almost in tears. I stretched my hand and uttered a YES. He came towards me, slid the love band in my ring finger and looked in my eyes. I hugged him and he exclaimed!!

"Am I allowed to be without the ring??" and everybody burst in laughter.

My Mom gave me the other love band and I slid that into his ring finger and warned him not to remove it ever from his ring finger!

Everything came to a stand still for that moment. I was in love and I just got engaged to the love of my life. 2 months back I had no clue that Aditya existed and today my existence is unimaginable without him. That day I not only accepted my love for him but also started a new ever lasting relationship with him. It was a pure and divine. And  all our loved ones, blessing us with all their heart made it more special for both of us.

The whole family ganged up with Aditya to make this special for me. I could have never imagined that my PLATINIUM DAY OF LOVE would be so special. I still can’t answer correctly when people ask me if I had a love marriage or an arrange marriage. I don’t know how would a love marriage be different from the one arranged for me.

We were very happy together; we got married the same year and started our family life. We were very much in love. I had every reason to be happy and I was very thankful to God for choosing me. I was the blessed one;  Until I got the phone call that evening.

Aditya went for an official visit to Singapore for two days. I had spoken to him 1 hour back when he was about to board the flight. He was very happy and he was late to airport because he was shopping for a gift for me. He told me that I would be to be blamed if he misses his flight! But he didn’t!

Wish he had missed the flight. Wish he was a little late to the airport. Wish I would have not let him go. I can only wish now. His plane crashed in the middle of sea. I have lost him…forever!

It was only 3 months that we had started our married life. We hadn’t seen the ups and downs of life. We had not understood any vows of the knot. And he was gone!!  No goodbyes, no fights, no promises! I have not lost the love of my life, I have lost the reason for living.

Its 6 yrs now, and my heart is still beating. I am still alive for the world and the world has forgotten our love story. People say you can live with good memories, but you can only die every moment with memories. I am dying every moment and I know I have no right even on my own life. But now I am left with nothing more than his love band which he has forgotten on the bathroom rack while he hurried to catch the Singapore flight. And I am left with pain ,,,pain of memories!

This blog is intended to participate in the PLATINIUM DAY OF OUR LOVE contest on Indiblogger.in. 

This is a fictional story and has no resemblance to any real person or event. 

Smart Suraksha tips for Bangalore

Ten smart suraksha tips for Bangalore in the order of their prefrence are as follows:
1. Download SMART SURAKSHA application on your smart phone and make sure you add the 5 contacts in the list carefully. Those contacts must be able to help you in the hour of need. For example, add a family member who knows where you have gone, add a friend from office/college who know when you have left your workplace, add your best friend who doesnt mind running to help you at 4 am, add somebody influential or somebody in police/politics so that if required they can get police help immediately.And last but not the least, add your Dad/Moms number because they will not leave any stone unturned in reaching you!

2. Do not let anybody kid/child/adult/male/female/handicap ,,anybody enter your house without knowing them well. If you are in a gated community, let the security guard call you and be with you while dealing with any stranger. You can trust noone as once they are inside the house, nobody would bother to know whats going inside the house
3. Please learn Kannada language, which is Bangalore's local language. If you know the language you are in good position to communicate with anybody on the road and hence inform incase of any emergency
4. Do not trust any private vehicles for lift. Both in day time or night, if you need to go somewhere do not sit in a private/company vehicle, private buses, private taxis etc as there is no accountability for such drivers and vehicles
5. When late from office, especially when you need to take the Outer Ring road, inner ring road, Hebbal flyover and those empty patches please accompany with a colleague or security guard. Its always preferred to take your own company transport compared to your own vehicle after 10 pm
6. Carry a pepper spray at all times in your purse and car. A portable knife is also a good idea incase you are stuck in emergency situations. And avoid travelling in auto rickshaws after 10 pm. The auto rickshaw fellows in Bangalore have a huge ganging with the goons and they are their best informers
7. Never go in parking lots alone after dark and never check your car/bonnet/lights when you are all alone in the parking lot. Lock the car as soon as you get inside the car.
8. If somebody seeks help from you at night and you are all alone, never stop the car. Make sure you go straight to the nearest police station and send help for them instead. Infact if somebody tries to blame you for some accidents or tries to stop you in the running car, they are definitely goons trying to get hold of you. Never stop the car even if they break your window glasses, just drive away straight to police station
9. Never try to fight and argue with local looking goons in Bangalore. There were cases in which local goons try to purposely intice you for fight and then the whole gang appears from nowhere and creates a scene out of nowhere! Beware of such gangs, simple get into the car and drive away at that point of time, later you can take some help and sort things out
10. Last but not the least, trust your instincts. If you feel that something is fishy and you are uncomfortable with someone, dont take chances. Just get out of the car/cab/bus and take some other way of transport. Its better to be safe than sorry

I am sharing my Smart Suraksha Tips at BlogAdda.com in association with Smart Suraksha App.

Won a gift voucher from Flipkart for this post from Smart Suraksha team
http://blog.blogadda.com/2013/11/14/winners-for-smart-suraksha-contests




Parenting help from Ayurved

"Rub hing on his stomach, all the gas would come out of his stomach and instantly he will stop crying" Amma declared
I was in deep thoughts and was wondering, how rubbing hing(Asafoetida
) on skin of the stomach release the gas from my angel's stomach, meanwhile I get another dose
"Its best to give him some gripe water. Gripe water  is the best way of treating gas!" another Aunt insisted
"Nothing works better than Colic Aid, just give 1 ml of colic aid and he will sleep through the night!" my best friend revolted
"What kind of mother she is? Doesn’t she know Colic aid is very harmful for kids? Tell her to keep her suggestions with herself. She is worried about her full night sleep not about her baby's health!" Another friend of mine judged!
After so much of fuss, I finally surfed the net for getting answers to my trivial questions about parenting. But adding to my frustration, there was so much data, so many different views, so many different pros and cons of each suggestions that I felt overwhelmed and the seemingly petty issue of stomach ache for my baby seemed like a huge calamity to me. I haven’t heard of so many controversial views even for Lady Gaga's outfit like I discovered while surfing for a Baby Gas problem that day!
That day I decided to use my maternal instincts and use common sense when it comes to my babies growth.At every stage I weighed the pros and cons of using some traditional and some contemporary ways and finally decided on things.
Being a follower of ayurved since childhood, I already had an inclination towards using homemade-traditional methods of healing for everyday issues of children.Nature gives us so many brilliant herbs to treat every illness of human race. It might work fast for some and slow for the others but it works. Especially for children where the immunity levels are very low, traditional methods works brilliantly.
My own experience for the gastric problem of my little 3 month old baby made me realize alot about parenting.
As a working mother, my first solution to the whole night crying was the Colic Aid and it worked wonders for me. As soon as I gave her the magic drops, she would sleep through the night and so would I.This went on for 4-5 days and then I realized, I am actually giving her something synthetic everyday! She was getting addicted to it, she would sleep only with the medicine now. And when I stopped giving her one night, she cried all night again.
So I had to rule out something she can get addicted and something which would have long term implications. Then I treated her with traditional ways of giving Ajwain water and sauf water regularly and things improved.
Then I was introduced with Dabur Lal tel by a friend. She has a very healthy cute looking baby who seemed very happy all the time. I was curious to know what is the secret of her happy and glowing baby. Then she told me about this magical ayurvedic oil which not only increased her babies diet but also helped her learn to walk faster.
I used to massage my angel everyday with the normal coconut oil and it was fine. But when I used Dabur Lal Tel, she started showing drastic improvements. The oil helped in a glowing skin for her, increased her muscle weight. She started getting hungry after the traditional massage and inturn started having healthy routine. Her eating times and poo times got disciplined. She started playing more and crying less. The cranky baby of mine started taking interest in things around her. She tried to reach toys hung on the Baby mobile, she started to slide on her stomach. She wanted to talk more, interact more with me. In one week  there were alot of positives I can make out.
And moreover, the massage time was the bonding time for Mamma and daughter. We both loved to baby talk while getting massaged and the caring touch of hot oil used to  soothe her to sleep at the end. It was therapeutic for me as well.
This is how I became a fan of the magical Dabur Lal Tail

This blog is intended to participate in Traditional Knowledge, Natural Growth contest from indiblogger.in

Smart Suraksha - Life saver for us!

"Yes, yes Ma, I am leaving office in 5 min", I informed
"But Beta...", Mom disappointed
"Yes Ma, I know I shouldnt be staying so late. Dont worry, I will be fine. I am driving home and its hardly 5 km from our house. I will be fine!!" I reassured Ma.
It was not very often that I stayed in office till 11 pm, but that day we had deadlines to meet and I was responsible for my team.
My house was just 5 kms from home and Bangalore presumably was a very safe city for girls. So I wasnt bothered about getting a colleague along with me or actually bothering about anything w.r.t safety.
I started walking towards parking after the final goodbyes and checking all the deliverables were sent to the customers. The parking lot was uncomforatbly quite and motionless. There was no security guard or any human sign in that 200 mts of parking lot. I could see a few cars scattered here and there but nothing seemed to be normal. I pretended not to be scared, but I was!
I hurried up to my car and opened using my car keys. The noise it made echoed all over the place and startled me to the core. I quickly went inside the car and locked the car. I started the car and without a moment delay drove off from that graveyard.
On my way to the exit gate, I saw three huge built guys trying to sneak into a car. I was sure they were not the owner of the car, but I decided not to intervene. And I pretended to not see them and drove off. I was stopped at the security gate and asked for the identity card as a general routine checkup. I could have informed the security about the men in the parking lot, but I choose not to and I drove off.
On my way back, many things went through my mind. I was trying not to think about the parking lot and those men. But suddenly a white Xylo overtook me. That scared the hell out of me. The first thought which came in my mind was that it was by accident. So I just stopped for a second and before I thought of getting out of the car to fight with the driver or see if it was on purpose. I saw the same men I saw in parking lot coming out of the car. They have probably noticed a single women driving in the car and followed me through.
Here my quick thinking helped and I without thinking of the damage my car can have took a reverse and overtook their car. They did not expect me to do that, so they were very slow to react and I drove ahead. But they were determined to follow me. They honked, they flashed light and they drove as fast as they could. I had my phone with me, but I couldnt match up to their speed and also call somebody. For me, currently the only important thing was to escape. I was just 2 kms away from my house but that 2 kms seemed unending. I was driving,without using the brakes I was just driving!!
After they saw me driving at a speed of 100 km/hr they knew I am not going to be submissive to them, so they finally gave up. I reached home in full sweat, I recollected myself in the parking lot and then went up to face my parents. This incidence would have devastated them and they would have been in stress all their life if I had told them what happened, so I thought I would do that some other time when I can explain them better.

That night could have been the nightmare no girl would ever want to imagine. They could have looted me, raped me, they could have killed me. We hear scary stories everyday and I could have been the Nirbhaya of some story. But it scares the soul out of me even today when I think of the possibilities that could happen that night and when I heard about SMART SURAKSHA application few days back...I WISH I HAD SMART SURAKSHA WITH ME THAT DAY. While driving I could have messaged 5 friends and relatives of mine and also put those goons behind the bars with just one click.
Girls please download the application as I did and make sure you utilize technology not just for social networking sites but also for your own safety!

I am participating in the Seeking Smart Suraksha contest at BlogAdda.com in association with Smart Suraksha App.

Finally in LOVE!!

"That bloody Vicky says I am over reacting. He is cheating on me and if I confront I am over reacting!!" I was fuming!!
"Nuts...its ok!!First stop crying...I cant see you crying. He wasnt worth you anyways! You deserve someone better..someone worthy of a girl like you!!" Bunny consoled me!
It all started a month back. Myself, Bunny, Champ, Tia all were chatiing in our college canteen and I saw Vicky. The stylish cool dude new in our college and on the first day itself he had girls hovering around him. We observed him from a distance. Me, Natasha the most sorted girl of our college could have never gone and initiated the conversation. I had a reputation of dumping guys within 2 months of a relationship. Not my fault...I just couldn't stand any of them longer than that!!
Vicky was in our class and it wasnt too long that we started seeing each other. Obviously I was on cloud nine as the most good.looking and cool guy of our college was now my boyfriend!
My friends did not bother much about my fling until I came crying to them. I hugged Bunny and was crying like a small baby in the middle of the restaurant.
Bunny, as his name suggest was a very golu polu lovable teddy bear like friend of mine from last 2 yrs in college. He picked me up from home, he lied to my parents when I was out with my boyfriends. He gave me all his class notes and proxied for me in classes. He was like a shadow for me. I made so much fun of him, bullied him and got irritated with his eating habbits..with his forgetfulness..and so many other things.  He was a punching bag for me when I was in distress.
That day also he consoled me in the restaurant and dropped me home that night. He called me 10 times that night to make sure I am Ok. Then as usual after a week or so I was over Vicky and became the same old carefree Nuts. It was funny to recall that I cried for that jerk!!
One day in our college canteen we were bullying Bunny for coming first in class and suddenly I remembered something
"Hey Bunny...you told me I deserve a better guy...Bata na kaha milega woh better guy??"
Everybody stopped teasing him and there was a silence!!
I asked "WHAT??"
Bunny suddenly walked away and he didnt listen to my apologies for teasing him. I found it weird!! I asked my other friends..what happened?? Nobody answered and they all looked disgusted with me!! I was all the more confused...what have I done?? We bully Bunny everyday and its not only me who does that. And if he ever disliked it, why didnt he tell us? I was like WHATEVER!!
Then after the college that day I asked Tia to drop me home as Bunny has gone home after that incident! I was not going to talk to anybody about that incidence as I never thought I was at fault! But Tia started!!
"Nuts do you even realize what you are doing with Bunny???"
"Bloody hell...I am not the only one who teases that Fatso...then why the hell are you guys blaming me?"I objected!!
Tia smiled in sarcasm and disclosed something I couldnt believe was true..."Bunny loves you!!"
I was sure she is out of her mind and she is just jealous of me. She doesn't like the way Bunny cares for me and so this TAMASHA!! But if she is not lying..how can he even think of it?
Myself and Bunny are so different. How the hell can he even imagine that I can be his girlfriend? Is he taking advantage of my friendship? He cant even run 1 km...he doesn't know to dance..He is so stupid and uncool! Have he seen himself in mirror? I actually thought he is such a big jerk and I would smash him for thinking he could match me!!
I came home and mom asked
"Bunny didn't come to drop you??"
I was so irritated that I went to my room and banged the door hard. I wanted to forget that Fatso and so I switched off my phone and started to Facebook!
I wasnt able to concentrate but I tried to checkout something or the other. Then I chanced upon a video. It was for some LIFE INSURRANCE.

"Dil k poore bache hai,Par bande ache hai…Par bande ache hai,

Bhool Bhaal jaate hain,thode kache hain….Par Bande ache hain..
Par bande ache hain 

Inki aadton ki,Hazaar kisse hain..Par bande ache hain,
Change vange hote nahin,Par man k sachhe hain,Par bande achee hain"

At the end of that commercial I was in tears. I couldn't understand what was happening to me?? What was making me cry? Isint Bunny wrong?? I mean just look at me and look at him. People will laugh if anybody sees us together!! I was too confused and I couldnt get interms with my thoughts. So I decided to go out and be with Mom-Dad. 

"Hi Mom I am sorry...I was upset with my college work so didnt want to speak to anybody that time!!"I explained
Mom just smiled and regained her conversation with Dad. They kept laughing on some silly thing and I was just watching them!!
Dad went to sleep and Mom saw me in deep thoughts
"Kya hua?? Kaha khoi ho?" Mom asked
" Ma ...you love Papa na...He is so good and such a cool guy..right?? You both are so compatible and look so good together!!Right??" The innocent adolescent girl in me inquired!!
Mom laughed and when she laughs,I KNOW IT ALL expression makes me uncomfortable!!
But she didnt intrude much and explained 

"I love your Dad not because he is good looking or cool..Not because he wore stylish clothes and danced well!! Baby when you are together..your physicality is the last thing which makes your relationship beautiful. You cannot be happy  with a Mr World who doesnt love you...doesnt care for you..with whom you cannot strike a conversation. .you cannot laugh...for whom you are a trophy girlfriend! But you can be forever happy with a simple man who treats you like a queen..who can guage your sadness with your smile..who keeps you before his ego and who cares for you even when you are angry on each other. Trophy boy friends are good for two months but forever wala pyaar happens only with soulmates!!  Soulmates are also not always perfect...you may hate some things in them..you may not stand them sometimes..you may find 1000 reasons to hate them..but if there is LOVE .. you can live for that one big reason and choose to ignore the petty things for that love...its all worth it!! " Mom concluded!!
That very moment I have grown up from a girl to a women. The cool. Good looking. hip and flashy me has become the real Nuts I am!!
Every gesture of Bunny from last two years was playing in flashback in my mind. The last 2 yrs he has been with me through thick and thin. The fights he had for me, the warnings he gave my looser ex-boyfriends for making me cry. The amount of efforts he put in for making me study and clear my exams. Handling my tantrums when he comes late even for a genuine reason. How he gets sad when I am sad. How I have been always his priority in life. How he used to get very protective about me when I was with my other friends. 

And then I saw the other side of the story. My part of the story. How I ran to him whenever I am sad or happy. How his approval was a must for me in every small decision of my life. I never felt confident unless he was with me. I always wanted him to see me when I am dressed up for knowing whether I look beautiful or not. How after soo much of bullying also he never showed any anger to me. He saw me going with other guys and sometimes even helping me in my stupid gimmicks. How I got all possesive when he helped some random girl in class. How my parents liked and confided in him so much. How I cannot get in terms with others for 2 months and we are best friends from last 2 years. Is thiss,,,,,

I couldnt hold my tears. And I called him immediately.
He sounded very tired and sleey (must have cried the whole night) but he still picked up my call!
"Can we meet??" I asked
"Its 2 am Nuts...we will meet tomorrow in college if I am well!" He spoke uninterested
"Bunny do you love me?" I asked
"Shit...who told you? Nuts listen thats entirely my problem and you dont need to stress out for that!!"
"Just tell me..do you love me??"
" Yes ..I..I do!!"
" Bloody Fatso...mujhe nahi bata sakta tha??"
" Arey dont freak out... I will never stop being friends with you...I am sorry. .but I couldn't help it!!"
" But I am not sorry... I love you!!"
He did not fathom.what I just said...he Continued his blah blah blah..
Then finally...I shouted on phone "I LOVE YOU!!"
He told me to wait for him...and I waited!!

I was very happy in heart. Something had changed in that very moment. I have discovered my love of life.  Love which was there with me from so long, Love as pure as the white platinium which never fades or tarnish. But still I felt as if I am discovering him for the first time. 

His call interrupted my thoughts and he asked me to come down in our garden. I was nervous, excited, happy, vulnerable all at the same time. I had never felt anything close to that ever. And finally when we met, we were at peace. 

He kneeled down and asked me for a hand. And to my surprise at 4 am in the night, he had actually brought a platinium love band for me. I donno from how long he has been carrying this for me.

He slipped the love band in my ring finger and my eyes shone as bright as that ring. 

Its 5 years and we still celebrate that day at 4 am as the PLATINIUM DAY OF OUR LOVE for celebrating the pure and divine love we both encountered on that day.

This blog is intended to participate in the PLATINIUM DAY OF OUR LOVE contest on Indiblogger.in. This is a fiction story and has no resemblance to any real person or event. 

Khushi's dose of the day!! (15th Oct 2013)

Khushi is learning a lot of things at a very very fast pace in school and outside school. Guess this age is very absorbing and this generation is also very inquisitive. The other day she was singing a rhyme

Khushi : (singing) In the mirror, what do I see?
          In the mirror, what do I see?
                          Someone is special!!
(Mummy finds it very amusing and wants to know what does she see in the mirror? And whats that special thing she is talking about?)
Khushi : (unaware of my amusement) THAT IS ME!!

Mummy super excited and happy to know that at this age, the first lessons they are getting is to TREAT THEMSELF SPECIAL!! Isint this the very thing missing in all of us. How we forget that we are unique and nobody else can be like us!
We forget to treat ourself special. We are best daughter/son, husband/wife, mother/father but never BEST OURSELF!! I am sure all of us are special in our own ways, just that we wait for others to tell this to us. CANT we just watch ourselves in the mirror and say "I AM SPECIAL!!"
Kudos to the education system where children are taught the basic keys to happiness. And I am loving the learning process myself!!

For those whom I am making sense the simple JR KG ryhme goes this ways...
                                                                        I’m Me

In the mirror, what do I see? 

Someone is special, that is me! 

My eyes, my ears, 

My lips, my nose. 

No one’s looks are just like those! 

All my favourite things to do 

Are not all the same for you. 

What I like to eat and drink, 

What I like to say and think. 

How I laugh, how I talk, 

How I run, how I walk. 

In the mirror, what do I see?

Someone is special, that is me! 

5..4..3..2..1 First train journey begins!!

5..4..3..2..1
We left at 7.40 pm from Bangalore. Hubby came to make sure we are comfortable in our 1AC cabin. As soon as the train started, we opened the food box and had our dinner. There is a different charm of having Parotha, aloo ki sabji and achar in the train. You end up eating twice your usual appetite and that too without any guilt.
Travelling in train after almost 6 years. Wanted kids to experience the wonderful journey in train. Our kids today are almost aloof of the joys of traveling. Our busy lives are affecting our simple joys of life...the fast pace of life these days doesnt have time for those 10-15 hrs of train journey. We are more interested in destination...we forget that the journey is as exciting as the destination.
This time I made sure I take time out for this beautiful laid back time for myself and kids. Everythings is the same and this known itenary is still as interesting as 6 yrs back.After a few pleasantries with the co-passenger I went back to playing with the kids.
For Khushi n Avani it was an out of the world experience. Firstly, the concept of sleeping on the upper b erth excited her so much that she refused to come back even for food. She had decided her territory and also spread her kingdom (her color pencils, books, junk food packets which her Dad bought her with great affection...or probably concern whether the strict Mom would let kids eat junk food for next 7 days :p)
Looking at Khushi, little Avani also grabbed the other upper berth and hung her legs between the stands. It was a new world.for them. Every small vendor from water, cold drinks, tea, coffee, dharwad vada, breakfast, soup, dinner, lunch needs to be registered. I wonder what it would have been if we travelled by 3 AC or sleeper class where every minute some or the other vendor arrives?
It took a little more time for me to put the kids to sleep as they were in no mood to go to the other dreamland from this wonderland. Especially the more notty little one wanted to explore the reading lights, the stairs to take u to upper berth, the curtains, the switches for light fan n bell. Ohh.. and the most dangerous of all the Emergency Chain for stopping the train. I purposely did not educate khushi about the Emergency bell..yes u guessed it right...they cannot resist demos of new/dangerous things which you introduce to your kids.
The night was not that bad, apart from the ritualistic 2-3 hickups in the night everything else went of well.I was woken up by a excited voice "Mummy...just look outside the window...its so beautiful!!". And yes indeed...it was beautiful!! Bright sun shining at 6.40 am on the unending green fields. The training gushing amidst paddy fields, sugarcane fields, lakes, rivers, dams and pristine small villages where the day has just started. The sun was.the same, the earth was the same but the morning was different. I had no hurry of getting out of my cozy bed, I need not get ready for the rat race. I could do without a todo list today..afterall I was on vaccation. Kids were also on vaccation...they made sure I know that early in the morning by opening a packet of little.hearts and devouring it without even asking me for permission. Unlike me, today I ignored!!
Nothing could have been a spoiler if Indian railways make our restrooms more asthetic. Though they were clean, their asthetics were just not appealing for the kids.
I am missing the unending chats I used to have with unknown people in trains regarding everything under the sun. The 1 AC has qualified for the train journey I wanted my.kids to experience but the chatter box in me is still craving for that harmless/learning experiemce of.meeting new people. Talking to them about their lives, connecting to them without judging them. Infact, I am not sure if I am still the same old Dipti who can connect with anybody on earth and talk to anybody from 1 month to 100 yrs.
Its gonna rain outside, kids are sleeping extra long with the swing effect in train n I m introspecting. I have gone a long way in life and have a longer journey to travel.. my life journey is also similar to this train journey in some respects. Only I wish I knew the iternary in advance :)

Exploring on my RAM PIYARI

This post is intended for participating in the Indiblogger.in contest "I m Explorer" by www.tatasafari.com

Khushi's dose of the day!!(18th Sep 2013)

Usually its a herculean task every morning to wake Khushi up for school and get her ready on time. But this Monday was different. She woke up 15 minutes early without any intimation and finished all her activities in a very organized manner before time. Unlike the other days she was super excited to go to school and this was enough indication for me to guage something is cooking up.
Mummy: Khushi, Are u ok ?
Khushi : (with a sheepish smile)Nothing!!
Mummy: Acha...nothing?? Then why are you so excited about going to school today?
Khushi: Well... today...Today is our field trip!
Mummy: Wow..Field trip? But where are you going for field trip today?
Khushi: (naughty grin) ICE CREAM PARLOUR!!

This is the best example of positive motivation I have seen. Wish we adults also could have such motivation to go to work everyday. I m sure most of us drag ourself to work 90 % times. Alternatively  I wish we had such jobs where we were self motivated to go so enthusiastically everyday.
"Kabhi kisiko mukkamal jahan nahi milta
Kahin zameen nahi to kahin aasman nahi milta"

Khushi's dose of the day!!(07 Sep 2013)

Khushi was as usual drawing in the evening when I came frim office yesterday. Avani was clinging to me and we were all seated in the living room. To entertain Avani I played a dance song on my mobile. Pretending to be distracted and not able to concentrate in her drawing, Khushi revolted
Khushi: Mummy, please stop the music. I am not able to concentrate in my drawing because of the noise
Mummy: Khushi you try and concentrate. I have to play the music for Avani
(After a little argument, I decided to move to my bedroom and let Khushi CONCENTRATE on her thing. But in the pigeonhole sized apartments in cities, the sound still reached the living room!
Irritated she screamed to stop the music, I didnt pay much heed! She comes to the room, dives into my cupboard and hands me over the new pair of headphone (still in the box) which I have won in a blogging contest)
Khushi: Mom, please use HEADPHONES if you want to listen to.music. Dont disturb others!!
1. Nobody uses headphones at my place, so how the hell she knows what is it used for? 2. Abhi yeh haal hai, bade hokar pata nahi kya kya distrubances honge baachon ko hamari wajaha se :p

Tribute to bloggers on Teacher's day!!

I am relatively new to blogosohere and owing to my fulltime job, I am not as active as I would like to be.I m still very naive in the art. But I am super impressed with the ability of blogworld.
We know people who write are called WRITERS. But not everybody has the drive or tallent or resources to publish their work. Infact not everybody writes book. Some people write experiences, some feelings, some humour, some short stories, some travelogue and others poems. And most of us write everything above. So for people.like me, blogs are the best way to vent out my feelings and thoughts. I can write whatever I feel on my blog, I may or may not have audiences for my every post. But every post is what I am, what I am feeling right now!
Many old friends tell.me, where was the writer in me earlier during school and college days?? I am sure, it was always there but our definition of writer wasnt the same then. We had a prestigious spot for the creative lot and could never dare to claim to be one then. But now, with blogging, we have a new category of writers. Writers who need not be long haired, big red bindi, kurta wearing serious looking breeds. Most of the times, they are that boy next door or that girl in amidst us whom we always thought is kinda mysterious in her behavior. They come in all shapes and sizes. Some blonde hair girls who want to be a rebel and voice their opinions. Others playing their second inning and fulfilling their longing to express themself to the world. We have the technology genius who have alot to share and at the same time shy from.the real.world. Its amazing to see brilliant photographers and not.so brilliant ones who are dillegently proving the verse "One picture speaks thousand words".Crazy bloggers for whom writing is an addiction, they can write alot of blog on same topic to get those free vouchers in the blogging contests.
Parenting blogs.are a rave these days, some educating, some.informative, some act as an open forum for discussions and some.just the way you explore yourself as a parent.every day!  From the passion of automobile to fashion, bloggers discuss about everything. The most sort after and interesting blogs for me are either personal which talk their heart out or the humourous ones which never fail to bring a smile on your face with thier day to day subtle humour. Politics and political opinions also makes a wonderful topic to debate about.And we have a huge young population in India who are very opinionated but busy in their rat race. Blogs help them to be vocal among the like minded people and this satiates them to an extent. Cartoon strips are another genere of blogging which excites me alot, specially some of them.who can really convey a very important message in a very subtle way through their cartoons. Many more types of blogs, poems, self motivation, short stories,sports, music, travelogues, polls, debates, contests are booming everyday. Its like, you have an urge to read something and you can find a blog on it.
And how much people crave to write can be easily weighted by the popularity of sites like Indiblogger and Blogadda which help.you share your blogs with other fellow bloggers. Every contest in these sites gets huge participation. Companies want to.promote their new products among the bloggers. They not only get huge audiences in the form of bloggers, they also inturn get so many more customers who are reading about them in the form of their blogs. Its a hit marketting strategy these days.

Bloggers are nomore annonyms people expressing and discussing their views. They have a face and name which they take pride in promoting. They have Blogger.meets and  Blogger awards. They are huge in terms of publicity and prizes. They boast of esteemed elite jury for their award selection. There is no shortage of glamour and intellect in these awards even though they are.virtual. And in those frequent Bloggers.meet, mutual admiration and sometimes even friendship flourishes.
Like any other matured industry, blogosphere is also a full fleged industry. May or may not in monetary terms for all, but definitely time to come everybody will would have a digital representation in the form.of blogs.
Today on Teacher's day, I pay a tribute to all my blogger buddies who have influenced me in more than one ways and kudos to each of them for leaving behind such awesome footprints of them in the form of your blogs. Happy Teacher's Day!!

Daughter?? In India?? Gear her up, NOW!!

I cannot fathom as to how casually we can take rape cases that to gang rape cases like a robbery or any other corruption cases. Please understand whatever century we are in, rape is not exploitation of just the body, it takes away the soul from the body of the victim. The trauma they must be going through is unimaginable!!

But today I dont want to discuss about that. Enough of discussing now, we need to evaluate and find some solutions. And I am not talking big...I dont have the ability to change the government nor do I have the power to bring the SHOOT AT RISK/SIGHT policy for all the morons. And on the other side, I am totally against the concept of adapting to the society. I cannot ask my daughters to be clad in a BURKHA just because jerks outside might have a heneous eye on them. Common grow up, if girls start wearing BURKHA was the solution, Pakistan n other Islamic countries would have no rape cases at all. Beauty is always in the eyes of the beholder and similarly...GROSSNESS is also in the eyes of beholder.So lets not even go there!
Then being from an affluent society I can settle abroad without having to think about anything. But can I just find any place on earth where I can be sure of safety?? Not really!!:( And what about other girls of my country,who have no chance of running away from.this.situation?? )
So now, when I have ruled out locking the gurls in the house, making them wear a BURKHA and also running away from.my country.I am.left with some more bold ideas.
First is self defence. Teaching martial arts of any kind would make our kids physically strong if not for fighting.out the monsters, atleast for running away if the need be. Pepper spray should be gifted on birthdays. Rakhi n all.ocassions to remind the girls to carry them all.the time.
Second, avoid going in secluded places. Even with brothers boyfriends or husbands you can never b safe in a secluded place. Libraries, lifts, rest rooms, public buses, trains all should have cameras. Cameras will induce some amouny of fear of being caught. Most of the monsters doing such crimes are white collared citizens who have a lot of public fear otherwise. Every person has an angel and a devil.in him. Usually the angelic sides are for the world n devilish when you are sure of annonimity.
Third, strict punishment within 1 month of the crime. In India, there is no fear of law. The rich get away with the influence and the not so rich are confident of the impotency of our legal system. So lets for once be potent enough to bring such extreme rules. But again as I said, its not in my reaches. So no use discussing.
Teaching the new India our sons and brothers to respect women is part of the whole change required for improving the situation. Start from home and make sure girls at home are treated equally.
Now, last and the most important and unheard of things which I have to write is about the emotional strength.i know unlike the past times, new India has started to realise that the victim is at no fault..Parents now dont disown their poor girls for being raped and molested. They even try to help.them to cope.up.with the trauma. But I see it differently. I think we should educate them and prepare them to deal with such trauma irrespective of our status, caste creed or age. I mean as we give sex education to our kids, we should give.them education  for dealing.with traumas also. Its a very sensitive topic and none of us will ever be able to imagine our kids as a victim but imagine if GOD FORBID it happens. Most girls in India still commit suicide if they go through this. Even when they are not at fault, girls cannot take the trauma.
We Indians communicate.less.with our kids and we forget that in this process of maintaining an hierarchy we forget to.connect. If we connect with our kids, be it a relationship breakup or an exam failure or peer pressure or RAPE ...the kids will never feel.left out. Make them.emotionally so STRONG  that none of the odds on earth can shake them.

I may sound insane to you right now, but I am.sure I am not wrong!!! FOOD FOR THOUGHT!!

HEART BLEEDS FOR FREEDOM AT THE STROKE OF MIDNIGHT!!

At the stroke of midnight..when the roads are engulfed by the dark,

I want freedom to dawn in every heart of my country.
When I have an opinion, 
I want the freedom to opinionate it without thinking about my religion or caste or gender.
The every wrong I see around, 
I want the courage to protest and eliminate
The bygones be bygones, 
atleast now I want the leaders to awake and arise and for once keep the country before the self.
My people are full of tallent, 
let the merits for once be decided not by minority or majority but purely the worth
Love is our birth right and 
none needs a moral police to decide for us how who when n where we want to connect
Every kid in my country is my future, my countries future. 
I demand their basic right of education.
List can go on and you may choose to ignore me as greedy gruch. 
Before you do that, I insist to be treated as an EQUAL.
I am a WOMAN but still a HUMAN!!

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

TALE OF DISCOVERY OF CINDERELLA

In India, the most undeserving people behave like kings and queens in front of the people below them. They knowingly/unknowingly humiliate their sub-ordinates, helpers, community helpers, drivers, maids and servants. Forget treating them equals, people don’t even treat them like humans. They often forget if it was not for these people, the equilibrium of our houses would go for a toss.

We have been taught to respectful and compassionate to all, irrespective of their jobs. And I tried to inculcate the same values in my kids since they were born.

Talking with respect to the plumbers, electricians, carpenters who come in the house for work. Being compassionate to the maids and servants working for us and doing all our house work was the first lesson I had taught my kids. When the staff at home is sick, I personally take them to the doctor and make sure they are not exerting themselves till they get better is what my kids have seen. And as rightly said, my daughter followed me and she displayed the same respect and compassion to the people working for us.

But things started changing when she started with her pre-school. I noticed that she is becoming more selfish, arrogant and disrespectful towards the staff. We have a  full time old staff at home which is like family and she started mistreating her. After a bit of research, I figured out that she is getting influenced by her surroundings. I saw kids around her are throwing tantrums, hitting their house maids, spitting at the drivers, screaming at the security guards, bullying the kids of the staff. I was so sorry for them and wished their parents realized what they are doing is what their kids are learning. I was very sad to hear from a 6 year old boasting to her mother that "I will handle this Maya(her house maid who is of her mothers age) Mumma, you don’t bother!". Do you really think, with this behaviour your kid would ever learn the RIGHT thing?

Now, before educating the world, I had a bigger task in my hand. I had a 3 year daughter who has already learnt a little bit of WRONG from her surroundings and now I had to "DO IT RIGHT". But I didn’t want to preach her, I wanted to educate her. I wanted her to figure out,  her own definition of GOOD and BAD. So I had a master plan to execute.

I told my house maid to stop doing all her work. I started this experiment on Saturday on a weekend, when I was off from work. She got up in the morning and shouted "Didi,, Du du", I told her "Beta, Didi is not well, you have to make your own milk!".She didn’t understand what I meant, then I told "Ok, I will make milk for you and bring, but you need to ask me politely". She pleaded " Mummy, please give me some milk!". I gave her milk. Then she shouted again, "Didi, I want that chocolate!". I again told her, "I would give it to you if you ask and not order!". Likewise, till Sunday evening, I corrected her. She understood that things will not move unless she requested me for it.

Then in the night during her bedtime stories, I told her the epitomic CINDERELLA story in which I purposely stressed on how the step mom and step sisters asked Cinderella to do all the work and spoke so disrespectfully to her. How life gets fortunate to some and unfortunate to some. At the end of the story I told her to summarize the story. And as expected, she co-related my house maid to Cinderella. She became compassionate towards Cinderella and in turn towards my house maid too. That was an enlightening moment for her; and a proud moment for me. She had absorbed just the correct thing I wanted to convey to her.

That was the last day when she misbehaved with my house maids, or driver or helpers. She has gone a step ahead of respect and compassion and started loving them. We go to restaurants and she asks my house maid what she wants to eat? If we don’t take my maid with us, she makes sure we are taking a parcel for her when we go back. She would not let me sleep in the afternoon on weekends, but makes sure my staff gets that one hour of rest in the afternoon every day. When my staff is not well, she is the one who goes close to her and gives the "JADDU ki JHAPPI" to heal her. She wanted to celebrate my maid’s birthday, but she didn’t know her birth date. So we have decided on a date when we celebrate my maid’s birthday. She takes care of all her smallest of wishes. Her television serials, her likings in sweets, her new clothe everything is her responsibility now. I can just see the 360 deg change in my doll after just a small lesson which I taught her.

I am not sure what she is going to be when she grows up. But I am sure, she is going to grow up to be a very nice human being. She feels the pain of people around her; she is compassionate towards the less fortunate. She can see their happiness and understand their sorrows. I just wanted to teach her to be HUMAN; she has proved me wrong and taught me how you can be a LOVELY HUMAN!!

I am sharing my Do RIght Stories at BlogAdda.com in association with Tata Capital.

Won the first prize and got an IPAD Mini 16 Gb. Thank you all for liking it.
http://blog.blogadda.com/2013/10/23/winners-do-right-stories-contest